Move the trace recording of destroy events out of triage_resources

[nical]

Description

This PR moves all of the trace::Action::DestroyFoo(id) out of triage_resource. The main motivation is to avoid holding the trace lock for a long time and let the resource drop impls take that lock without risking deadlocks if the reference count happens to go to zero during triage.

This will allow us to remove the free_resource tracker in a followup which is needed for #4917.

Incidentally I'm happy about how it simplifies the code. It makes sense for this stuff to be handled by the resources themselves instead of the lifecycle triaging code which in an ideal world wouldn't need to do resource-specific logic. triage_resource does not need to take an on_remove callback anymore.

Checklist

• Run cargo fmt.
• Run cargo clippy.
• Run cargo xtask test to run tests.

[cwfitzgerald]

Truly amazing!