ebpf: host->service->self without CTLB does not work

[tomastigera]

          I might have a similar issue, trying the same configuration from #4509 with bpfConnectTimeLoadBalancing=Disabled and bpfHostNetworkedNATWithoutCTLB=Enabled. 

Since then, I have some hosts and pods in the hostNetwork which cannot reach the clusterIP of the apiserver anymore (100.72.0.1). But this is unrelated to Istio (we do have Istio, but neither enabled for the hostNetworked pod nor the apiserver. Any data I can share?
Detail: This does not affect all hosts - in fact it affects exactly those which do have a pod being endpoint for the clusterIP, i.e. my master nodes with apiservers on them.

edit: using 3.27.2
edit2: setting bpfConnectTimeLoadBalancing to TCP solves this problem functionally.
before trying the new config, we were using the feature gate approach BPFConnectTimeLoadBalancingWorkaround=udp

Originally posted by @sfudeus in #8545 (comment)