Explore updating TBB

[WardBrian]

A couple issues have come up on the forums which were caused by environments (hpc or conda) shipping newer versions of TBB than Stan, causing linking issues if the environment's version was picked up by the C++ compiler

These have been slowly growing over time (conda-forge migrated their ecosystem back in 2021), and will only get worse. Stan already supports using these versions, but you need to opt-in with -DTBB_INTERFACE_NEW and providing the correct headers at build time.

I think we should make this the default. My understanding is the major barrier here is that the newer versions of TBB are only available as cmake builds? So we would either need to use cmake ourselves (#3068 #2967) or require users have cmake installed and invoke it from our own Makefiles