hackapun.ipynb

{
 "cells": [
  {
   "cell_type": "code",
   "execution_count": 1,
   "metadata": {
    "collapsed": false
   },
   "outputs": [],
   "source": [
    "from __future__ import unicode_literals\n",
    "from spacy.en import English\n",
    "nlp = English()\n",
    "\n",
    "def tokenize(sentence):\n",
    "    return nlp(unicode(sentence, \"utf-8\"))\n",
    "\n",
    "def tok(utf_sent):\n",
    "    return nlp(sentence)\n",
    "\n",
    "def unigram_prob(word):\n",
    "    return nlp.vocab[word].prob\n"
   ]
  },
  {
   "cell_type": "code",
   "execution_count": 2,
   "metadata": {
    "collapsed": true
   },
   "outputs": [],
   "source": [
    "import csv\n",
    "\n",
    "def addPair(result, word1, word2, score):\n",
    "    l1 = len(word1)\n",
    "    l2 = len(word2)\n",
    "\n",
    "    if l1 < 2 or l2 <2:\n",
    "        #skipped = skipped +1\n",
    "        return\n",
    "\n",
    "    if not word1 in result:\n",
    "        result[word1] = {word2: score}\n",
    "        #added = added + 1\n",
    "    elif not word2 in result[word1]:\n",
    "        result[word1][word2] = score\n",
    "        #added = added + 1\n",
    "    else: result[word1][word2] += score\n",
    "        \n",
    "def parseResults():\n",
    "    results = {}\n",
    "    with open(\"data/pairs_clean.csv\") as file:\n",
    "        for line in csv.reader(file):\n",
    "            addPair(results, line[0], line[1], int(line[2]))\n",
    "            \n",
    "    return results"
   ]
  },
  {
   "cell_type": "code",
   "execution_count": 3,
   "metadata": {
    "collapsed": true
   },
   "outputs": [],
   "source": [
    "from nltk.corpus import stopwords\n",
    "stop = stopwords.words('english')\n",
    "\n",
    "def cleanup(sentence):\n",
    "    return [i for i in tokenize(sentence) if i not in stop]"
   ]
  },
  {
   "cell_type": "code",
   "execution_count": 4,
   "metadata": {
    "collapsed": false
   },
   "outputs": [],
   "source": [
    "from spacy.parts_of_speech import NOUN, VERB\n",
    "\n",
    "def compareToken(token):\n",
    "   return token.pos == NOUN or token.pos == VERB"
   ]
  },
  {
   "cell_type": "code",
   "execution_count": 5,
   "metadata": {
    "collapsed": true
   },
   "outputs": [],
   "source": [
    "def relation_score(word1, word2):\n",
    "    if not word1 in relations: return 0\n",
    "    elif not word2 in relations[word1]: return 0\n",
    "    else: return relations[word1][word2] / 100"
   ]
  },
  {
   "cell_type": "code",
   "execution_count": 16,
   "metadata": {
    "collapsed": false
   },
   "outputs": [],
   "source": [
    "import numpy as np\n",
    "from scipy import stats\n",
    "from homonyms import Homonyms\n",
    "\n",
    "h = Homonyms()\n",
    "relations = parseResults()\n",
    "relations[\"magician\"][\"hare\"] = 437\n",
    "\n",
    "def relate(sentence):\n",
    "    tokens = cleanup(sentence)\n",
    "\n",
    "    found = []\n",
    "    for token in tokens:\n",
    "        hom = h.homonyms(token.orth_)\n",
    "        if any(hom):\n",
    "            found = [token, hom]\n",
    "\n",
    "    if not any(found): return 0\n",
    "\n",
    "\n",
    "    scores = np.zeros(len(found[1][0]))\n",
    "\n",
    "    for token in tokens:\n",
    "        if (compareToken(token)):\n",
    "            i = 0\n",
    "            for meaning in found[1][0]:\n",
    "                scores[i] += (relation_score(meaning, token.orth_) + relation_score(token.orth_, meaning)) / np.exp(unigram_prob(token.orth_))\n",
    "                i = i+1\n",
    "    return stats.entropy(scores)\n"
   ]
  },
  {
   "cell_type": "code",
   "execution_count": 25,
   "metadata": {
    "collapsed": true
   },
   "outputs": [],
   "source": [
    "score_treshold = 0"
   ]
  },
  {
   "cell_type": "code",
   "execution_count": 26,
   "metadata": {
    "collapsed": false
   },
   "outputs": [],
   "source": [
    "puns = open(\"data/puns.csv\").readlines()\n",
    "scores = []\n",
    "for pun in puns:\n",
    "    try:\n",
    "        scores.append(relate(pun))\n",
    "    except:\n",
    "        pass\n",
    "\n",
    "good_puns = []\n",
    "i = 0\n",
    "for score in scores:\n",
    "    if score > score_treshold:\n",
    "        good_puns.append(puns[i])\n",
    "    i = i + 1"
   ]
  },
  {
   "cell_type": "code",
   "execution_count": 21,
   "metadata": {
    "collapsed": false
   },
   "outputs": [],
   "source": [
    "non_puns = open(\"data/non_puns.csv\").readlines()\n",
    "non_scores = []\n",
    "for non_pun in non_puns:\n",
    "    try:\n",
    "        non_scores.append(relate(non_pun))\n",
    "    except:\n",
    "        pass\n",
    "\n",
    "i = 0\n",
    "better_puns = []\n",
    "for score in non_scores:\n",
    "    if score > 0.2:\n",
    "        better_puns.append(non_puns[i])\n",
    "    i = i + 1"
   ]
  },
  {
   "cell_type": "code",
   "execution_count": 22,
   "metadata": {
    "collapsed": false
   },
   "outputs": [
    {
     "name": "stdout",
     "output_type": "stream",
     "text": [
      "337\n",
      "133\n"
     ]
    }
   ],
   "source": [
    "print len(good_puns)\n",
    "print len(better_puns)"
   ]
  },
  {
   "cell_type": "code",
   "execution_count": 28,
   "metadata": {
    "collapsed": false
   },
   "outputs": [
    {
     "data": {
      "text/plain": [
       "['His early work had an air of freshness and originality.\\n',\n",
       " 'There is an air of mystery about him.\\n',\n",
       " 'an air drill; an air pump.\\n',\n",
       " 'The station goes off the air at midnight.\\n',\n",
       " 'There is no need to get up in the air over a simple mistake.\\n',\n",
       " 'The audience ate up everything he said.\\n',\n",
       " 'You ought to be home early. We ought to bring her some flowers.\\n',\n",
       " \"He did an awful good job of painting the barn. It's awful hot in here.\\n\",\n",
       " 'Eggs used to sell at sixty cents a dozen. This shirt sells for thirty dollars.\\n',\n",
       " 'She was forced to sell up her entire stock of crystal.\\n',\n",
       " 'to send a messenger; They sent their son to college.\\n',\n",
       " 'An off-stage door slam was his cue to enter.\\n',\n",
       " 'securities that earn on a quarterly basis.\\n',\n",
       " 'to elicit the truth; to elicit a response with a question.\\n',\n",
       " 'His coming of age was an epoch in his life.\\n',\n",
       " \"They're much too nice in their dining habits to enjoy an outdoor barbecue.\\n\",\n",
       " 'A large bill from the dentist made a hole in her savings.\\n',\n",
       " 'The director, when angry, is a holy terror.\\n',\n",
       " 'a humorous version of an incident; a humorous view of life.\\n',\n",
       " 'There is no need for you to go there.\\n',\n",
       " \"You must not do that. It's not far from here.\\n\",\n",
       " 'to know how to make gingerbread.\\n',\n",
       " \"My friend turns up his nose at anyone who hasn't had a college education.\\n\",\n",
       " \"to owe one's fame to good fortune.\\n\",\n",
       " 'We belong to one team; We are of one resolve.\\n',\n",
       " 'We all had dinner together one evening last week.\\n',\n",
       " 'Mother had been ailing for many months, and one should have realized it.\\n',\n",
       " \"I don't feel quite right today.\\n\",\n",
       " \"women's rights; Freedom of speech is a right of all Americans.\\n\",\n",
       " 'to right a crookedly hung picture.\\n',\n",
       " 'to write two copies of a letter.\\n',\n",
       " 'to write a letter to a friend.\\n',\n",
       " 'to write a sonnet; to write a symphony.\\n',\n",
       " 'to write off their bad experience.\\n',\n",
       " 'We decided to see it out, even if it meant another year.\\n',\n",
       " 'They came home at dawn, looking half seas over.\\n',\n",
       " \"We'll try the plan on for size to see whether it's practical.\\n\",\n",
       " 'Boys will be boys. After dinner they would read aloud.\\n',\n",
       " 'There was something decidedly out of the way about her explanation.\\n',\n",
       " 'The vote will have to be laid over until next week.\\n',\n",
       " 'While the family was away, thieves made off with most of their valuables.\\n',\n",
       " \"They threatened to break him if he didn't stop discounting their products.\\n\",\n",
       " \"Parents have a big stake in their children's happiness.\\n\",\n",
       " 'He was out on bail within 10 hours of his arrest.\\n',\n",
       " 'The suspect jumped bail and is now being sought.\\n',\n",
       " \"to open one's mail; to find a bill in the mail; The mail for England was put on the noon plane.\\n\",\n",
       " 'He would sail into his staff when work was going badly.\\n',\n",
       " 'a plain trail to the river; to stand in plain view.\\n',\n",
       " 'We had a light rain this afternoon.\\n',\n",
       " 'We had rain most of last summer.\\n',\n",
       " 'The rider saw the snake and drew rein sharply.\\n',\n",
       " 'He made some vain remarks about his accomplishments.\\n',\n",
       " 'vain pageantry; vain display.\\n',\n",
       " 'a bass voice; a bass instrument.\\n',\n",
       " 'the base tones of a piano.\\n',\n",
       " 'Use yogurt in place of sour cream.\\n',\n",
       " 'The gate to stardom is talent.\\n',\n",
       " 'We waited a week and then bought the house. Your vacation will have to wait until next month.\\n',\n",
       " 'There will be a long wait between trains.\\n',\n",
       " 'After meeting the author, I was in a daze for a week.\\n',\n",
       " 'Her petition was lost in a maze of bureaucratic red tape.\\n',\n",
       " 'The radioman was able to raise shore headquarters after three tries.\\n',\n",
       " 'His raise was five dollars.\\n',\n",
       " 'His early work had an air of freshness and originality.\\n',\n",
       " 'There is an air of mystery about him.\\n',\n",
       " 'an air drill; an air pump.\\n',\n",
       " 'The station goes off the air at midnight.\\n',\n",
       " 'There is no need to get up in the air over a simple mistake.\\n',\n",
       " 'He acquired airs that were insufferable to his friends.\\n',\n",
       " 'The roof will not bear the strain of his weight.\\n',\n",
       " 'to bear love; to bear malice.\\n',\n",
       " 'to bear witness; to bear testimony.\\n',\n",
       " 'to bear authority; to bear sway.\\n',\n",
       " \"It's supposed to fair off toward evening.\\n\",\n",
       " \"to pare down one's expenses.\\n\",\n",
       " \"I'm so upset, I could just tear my hair out.\\n\",\n",
       " \"If anyone calls, tell them I'll be back at six. Everyone began looking for their books at once.\\n\",\n",
       " 'We decided to see it out, even if it meant another year.\\n',\n",
       " 'There is no need for you to go there.\\n',\n",
       " 'a weak nation; a weak ruler.\\n',\n",
       " 'A 35-hour week is now commonplace.\\n',\n",
       " \"Let's make the scene downtown tonight. She was never one to make the drug scene.\\n\",\n",
       " \"He's too cheap to buy his own brother a cup of coffee.\\n\",\n",
       " \"He's always looking for piece of ass.\\n\",\n",
       " 'Some of the hoodlums beat their victims viciously before robbing them.\\n',\n",
       " 'Despite their differences, the union and the company finally agreed to meet halfway and settle their dispute.\\n',\n",
       " 'They came home at dawn, looking half seas over.\\n',\n",
       " \"a dear price to pay for one's independence.\\n\",\n",
       " 'The here and the hereafter are equal mysteries to all people.\\n',\n",
       " 'We must tend to the matter here and now.\\n',\n",
       " 'The fact that her family has no money is neither here nor there.\\n',\n",
       " \"I'm so upset, I could just tear my hair out.\\n\",\n",
       " 'He came by the highway. She arrived by air.\\n',\n",
       " 'By his own account he was in Chicago at the time. I know him by sight.\\n',\n",
       " \"Apples are sold by the bushel. I'm paid by the week.\\n\",\n",
       " 'They have indulged in high living for years.\\n',\n",
       " 'After winning the lottery he was on a high for weeks.\\n',\n",
       " 'His flashy car was a lie that deceived no one.\\n',\n",
       " \"to tie a tin can on a dog's tail.\\n\",\n",
       " \"The time of the baseball game was two hours and two minutes. The bus takes too much time, so I'll take a plane.\\n\",\n",
       " \"In time he'll see what is right.\\n\",\n",
       " 'They had the time of their lives on their trip to Europe.\\n',\n",
       " 'to be of a mind to listen.\\n',\n",
       " \"You mustn't mind about their gossiping.\\n\",\n",
       " 'Our flier in uranium stocks was a disaster.\\n',\n",
       " 'Pants with a high rise are now in style.\\n',\n",
       " \"We'll try the plan on for size to see whether it's practical.\\n\",\n",
       " 'the theory that might makes right.\\n',\n",
       " \"I don't feel quite right today.\\n\",\n",
       " \"women's rights; Freedom of speech is a right of all Americans.\\n\",\n",
       " 'to right a crookedly hung picture.\\n',\n",
       " 'to write two copies of a letter.\\n',\n",
       " 'to write a letter to a friend.\\n',\n",
       " 'to write a sonnet; to write a symphony.\\n',\n",
       " 'to write off their bad experience.\\n',\n",
       " \"to owe one's fame to good fortune.\\n\",\n",
       " \"I can't afford a new coat so I have to make do with this one.\\n\",\n",
       " 'to know how to make gingerbread.\\n',\n",
       " 'to throw off the wet poncho; to throw off the yoke of slavery.\\n',\n",
       " 'A large bill from the dentist made a hole in her savings.\\n',\n",
       " 'The director, when angry, is a holy terror.\\n',\n",
       " \"The beautiful actress was the pole of everyone's curiosity.\\n\",\n",
       " 'The defenders of the fort sold their lives dearly.\\n',\n",
       " 'During the scandal, employees felt they had been thrown to the wolves by their employer.\\n',\n",
       " \"My friend turns up his nose at anyone who hasn't had a college education.\\n\",\n",
       " 'to warn a person of an intended visit.\\n',\n",
       " 'to pour a glass of milk; to pour water on a plant.\\n',\n",
       " \"to pour out one's troubles to a friend.\\n\",\n",
       " 'There were several movie stars on board traveling incognito.\\n',\n",
       " 'His coarse language angered us.\\n',\n",
       " 'as a matter of course; the course of a disease.\\n',\n",
       " 'He has often cast this brook.\\n',\n",
       " 'foul air; foul stagnant water.\\n']"
      ]
     },
     "execution_count": 28,
     "metadata": {},
     "output_type": "execute_result"
    }
   ],
   "source": [
    "better_puns"
   ]
  },
  {
   "cell_type": "code",
   "execution_count": 15,
   "metadata": {
    "collapsed": false
   },
   "outputs": [
    {
     "ename": "NameError",
     "evalue": "name 'non_scores' is not defined",
     "output_type": "error",
     "traceback": [
      "\u001b[0;31m---------------------------------------------------------------------------\u001b[0m",
      "\u001b[0;31mNameError\u001b[0m                                 Traceback (most recent call last)",
      "\u001b[0;32m<ipython-input-15-5bfbc2711815>\u001b[0m in \u001b[0;36m<module>\u001b[0;34m()\u001b[0m\n\u001b[1;32m      1\u001b[0m \u001b[0mi\u001b[0m \u001b[0;34m=\u001b[0m \u001b[0;36m0\u001b[0m\u001b[0;34m\u001b[0m\u001b[0m\n\u001b[1;32m      2\u001b[0m \u001b[0mbetter_puns\u001b[0m \u001b[0;34m=\u001b[0m \u001b[0;34m[\u001b[0m\u001b[0;34m]\u001b[0m\u001b[0;34m\u001b[0m\u001b[0m\n\u001b[0;32m----> 3\u001b[0;31m \u001b[0;32mfor\u001b[0m \u001b[0mscore\u001b[0m \u001b[0;32min\u001b[0m \u001b[0mnon_scores\u001b[0m\u001b[0;34m:\u001b[0m\u001b[0;34m\u001b[0m\u001b[0m\n\u001b[0m\u001b[1;32m      4\u001b[0m     \u001b[0;32mif\u001b[0m \u001b[0mscore\u001b[0m \u001b[0;34m>\u001b[0m \u001b[0;36m0.2\u001b[0m\u001b[0;34m:\u001b[0m\u001b[0;34m\u001b[0m\u001b[0m\n\u001b[1;32m      5\u001b[0m         \u001b[0mbetter_puns\u001b[0m\u001b[0;34m.\u001b[0m\u001b[0mappend\u001b[0m\u001b[0;34m(\u001b[0m\u001b[0mnon_puns\u001b[0m\u001b[0;34m[\u001b[0m\u001b[0mi\u001b[0m\u001b[0;34m]\u001b[0m\u001b[0;34m)\u001b[0m\u001b[0;34m\u001b[0m\u001b[0m\n",
      "\u001b[0;31mNameError\u001b[0m: name 'non_scores' is not defined"
     ]
    }
   ],
   "source": []
  },
  {
   "cell_type": "code",
   "execution_count": 14,
   "metadata": {
    "collapsed": false
   },
   "outputs": [
    {
     "ename": "NameError",
     "evalue": "name 'better_puns' is not defined",
     "output_type": "error",
     "traceback": [
      "\u001b[0;31m---------------------------------------------------------------------------\u001b[0m",
      "\u001b[0;31mNameError\u001b[0m                                 Traceback (most recent call last)",
      "\u001b[0;32m<ipython-input-14-0b3d9ee0d316>\u001b[0m in \u001b[0;36m<module>\u001b[0;34m()\u001b[0m\n\u001b[0;32m----> 1\u001b[0;31m \u001b[0mlen\u001b[0m\u001b[0;34m(\u001b[0m\u001b[0mbetter_puns\u001b[0m\u001b[0;34m)\u001b[0m\u001b[0;34m\u001b[0m\u001b[0m\n\u001b[0m",
      "\u001b[0;31mNameError\u001b[0m: name 'better_puns' is not defined"
     ]
    }
   ],
   "source": [
    "len(better_puns)"
   ]
  },
  {
   "cell_type": "code",
   "execution_count": 203,
   "metadata": {
    "collapsed": false
   },
   "outputs": [
    {
     "data": {
      "text/plain": [
       "<spacy.tokens.Tokens at 0x110145e60>"
      ]
     },
     "execution_count": 203,
     "metadata": {},
     "output_type": "execute_result"
    }
   ],
   "source": [
    "tokenize(puns[0])"
   ]
  },
  {
   "cell_type": "code",
   "execution_count": 198,
   "metadata": {
    "collapsed": false
   },
   "outputs": [
    {
     "data": {
      "text/plain": [
       "['What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing - but it let out a little whine.\\n',\n",
       " \"Some people's noses and feet are built backwards: their feet smell and their noses run.\\n\",\n",
       " \"If you step onto a plane and recognize a friend of yours named Jack don't yell out Hi Jack!\\n\",\n",
       " \"The cannibal's cookbook titled 'How to Better Serve your Fellow Man' was written by a guy who had a wife and ate kids.\\n\",\n",
       " 'Talking to her about computer hardware I make my mother board.\\n',\n",
       " \"Show me someone in denial and I'll show you a person in Egypt up to their ankles.\\n\",\n",
       " \"California is the land of earthquakes and suntans or 'shake and bake'.\\n\",\n",
       " 'What is the best store to be in during an earthquake? A stationery store.\\n',\n",
       " 'A restaurant decided to serve submarine sandwiches but later went under.\\n',\n",
       " 'Every so often railroad conductors have to go for retraining.\\n',\n",
       " 'Nurses who give shots do a great job but sometimes get paid a measle-y salary.\\n',\n",
       " \"A family named woods has a large family tree. You often can't see the tree for the woods.\\n\",\n",
       " \"There was once a cross-eyed teacher who couldn't control his pupils.\\n\",\n",
       " 'There was a guy who was fired from the orange juice factory for lack of concentration.\\n',\n",
       " 'The detective who went to investigate a burned down post office figured that it must be blackmail.\\n',\n",
       " 'Did you know that donuts were first made in Greece?\\n',\n",
       " 'A man who rode in a carpool felt sick whenever they passed under a certain tunnel. His doctor diagnosed this as carpool tunnel syndrome.\\n',\n",
       " 'A guy with money to burn may well find a gal who wants to play with fire.\\n',\n",
       " 'A guy who crosses the ocean twice without a shower is a dirty double crosser.\\n',\n",
       " 'Sunglasses for sailors had better be seeworthy.\\n',\n",
       " 'When the unemployed actor got a job with a demolition company he finally brought down the house.\\n',\n",
       " \"College bred is a four-year loaf made out of the old man's dough.\\n\",\n",
       " 'The man who worked in the gum factory fell in a vat of bubblegum. His boss had to chew him out.\\n',\n",
       " 'A lady woke up not very hungry after having a roll and a turnover in bed.\\n',\n",
       " 'A beer recipe is a kind of brew-print.\\n',\n",
       " 'A bird with a headache might just migrane south.\\n',\n",
       " 'Home page: when your family makes your beeper go off.\\n',\n",
       " 'You pay your psychiatrist with a sanity check.\\n',\n",
       " 'A career choice for kids who just like to sit around and make faces would be a watchmaker.\\n',\n",
       " 'Chop up an old piano and you will get a cord of wood.\\n',\n",
       " 'The inventor of chewing gum soon bubbled his money.\\n',\n",
       " \"I like European food so I decided to Russia over there because I was Hungary. After Czech'ing the menu I ordered Turkey. When I was Finnished I told the waiter 'Spain good but there is Norway I could eat another bite'.\\n\",\n",
       " 'Local Area Network in Australia: the LAN down under.\\n',\n",
       " 'When the waiter was asked if crabs were served in his restauraunt he replied - oh yes ... we serve anybody!\\n',\n",
       " 'If you swallow uranium you will probably get atomic ache.\\n',\n",
       " 'When the glassblower inhaled he got a pane in the stomach.\\n',\n",
       " 'A policeman accidentally arrested a judge who had dressed as a convict for a costume party. That cop learned never to book a judge by his cover.\\n',\n",
       " 'A cat ate some cheese and waited for a mouse with baited breath.\\n',\n",
       " 'Acupuncture is a jab well done.\\n',\n",
       " \"Old programmers never die, they just can't C as well.\\n\",\n",
       " 'To spot a glacier you have to have good ice sight.\\n',\n",
       " 'The designers of jeans are always looking at the bottom line.\\n',\n",
       " 'Con-census: counting the prison population.\\n',\n",
       " 'People who like yogurt are well cultured.\\n',\n",
       " \"What did the nice girl say when her date invited her home to see his stamp collection? 'Philately will get you nowhere'.\\n\",\n",
       " 'Hotel owners usually have suite dreams.\\n',\n",
       " \"After getting his master's degree - Bob got a job as a postman - reconciling that he was still a man of letters.\\n\",\n",
       " \"High jumpers should do well at the olympics because it's always on a leap year.\\n\",\n",
       " 'For a criminal, a change is not as good as arrest.\\n',\n",
       " \"Sign at a place where you lose weight: 'Stop Look and Lessen'.\\n\",\n",
       " 'A dentist named Phil McCavity always quit work at tooth-hurtie.\\n',\n",
       " 'A group of physicists is called a nucleus.\\n',\n",
       " \"A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was a nurse said 'No change yet'.\\n\",\n",
       " \"It wasn't school John disliked it was just the principal of it.\\n\",\n",
       " 'My wife works over-thyme in her herb garden before she decides it is time to cummin.\\n',\n",
       " \"To many girls the word 'marriage' has a nice ring to it.\\n\",\n",
       " 'An unusual medical book is one which has no appendix.\\n',\n",
       " 'A soldier never made it back to his base because he had driven his jeep into AWOL.\\n',\n",
       " 'A lovely lady who lost her watch became a timeless beauty.\\n',\n",
       " 'Outdoor lights were put up at a golf course - for people who liked swinging nightclubs.\\n',\n",
       " 'A lot of shady characters are waiting for their day in the sun.\\n',\n",
       " 'The manufacturers of dynamite do a booming business.\\n',\n",
       " 'Old mechanics never die, they just re-tire.\\n',\n",
       " \"With everything you read about spray cans and the ozone layer it's enough to scareosol to death.\\n\",\n",
       " 'The coffee around here is break fluid.\\n',\n",
       " 'When the rangers argue at Yellowstone Park the geyser always blowing their tops.\\n',\n",
       " 'The first drinking establishment in Alaska was a polar bar.\\n',\n",
       " 'Next time you get a lawyer a drink give him just-ice.\\n',\n",
       " 'At a company where they dig for gold a labor dispute is a miner problem where no one wants to get the shaft.\\n',\n",
       " 'There was a fireman who kept going back to college and finally got third degree burnout.\\n',\n",
       " 'Stocks and bonds really hold people down.\\n',\n",
       " 'A cardboard belt would be a waist of paper.\\n',\n",
       " 'Farmers are real experts - they are often outstanding in their field.\\n',\n",
       " \"If we don't conserve water we could go from one ex-stream to another.\\n\",\n",
       " \"Sign on a music store window: 'Come in and pick out a drum -- then beat it!'\\n\",\n",
       " 'Golf is a lot like taxes - you drive hard to get to the green and end up in the hole.\\n',\n",
       " \"A talkative politician was the world's first passenger side air-bag.\\n\",\n",
       " \"A father got blazing mad when he found a fire set by his boy behind their house and said 'I don't want arson doing things like that.'\\n\",\n",
       " \"Are you wearing your golfer's socks? The pair with a hole in one.\\n\",\n",
       " 'Doctors are never perfect because they are always practicing and they need a lot of patients.\\n',\n",
       " \"Ever tried honeymoon salad? It's lettuce alone.\\n\",\n",
       " 'I was going to go sailing and went shopping for a hat but started to reconsider when they gave me a stern look and asked for my capsize.\\n',\n",
       " 'A detective likes to have a brief case.\\n',\n",
       " 'Old bakers never die, they just keep making lots of dough.\\n',\n",
       " 'Sitting in the sun last summer a lot of people became well-red.\\n',\n",
       " 'A family with four boys and a history of weak eyes found son-glasses very expensive.\\n',\n",
       " 'When the spice ships used to bring goods to the king the captain was peppered with compliments.\\n',\n",
       " 'At a flower show the first prize is often a bloom ribbon.\\n',\n",
       " 'A fisher named Annette really got caught up in her work.\\n',\n",
       " \"Ben and Eileen Dover got married and almost died on their honeymoon crossing a high footbridge. 'I leaned over' she explained while what did he do? 'Bend over'.\\n\",\n",
       " 'After a long trek through the wilderness sleeping in a creek bed I was happy to get back home to my creaky bed.\\n',\n",
       " 'Seven days without a pun makes one weak.\\n',\n",
       " \"It's better to love a short girl than not a tall.\\n\",\n",
       " 'A scientist doing a large experiment with liquid chemicals was trying to solve a problem when he fell in and became part of the solution.\\n',\n",
       " \"Don't expect to eat something fancy when you're flying because it's plane food.\\n\",\n",
       " \"A husband with little English struggled to explain that his wife could not have children, saying 'she is unbearable'. Getting a blank stare he tried: 'she is impregnable'. Then finally he figured he had it: 'she is inconceivable!'\\n\",\n",
       " 'Soon after Sam and Ella got married they experienced food poisoning.\\n',\n",
       " 'A tatoo artist has designs on his clients.\\n',\n",
       " 'At some executive meetings there is a chairman of the bored.\\n',\n",
       " \"If your dad's sisters are construction workers you might call them carpenter aunts.\\n\",\n",
       " 'Some people are on seefood diets: they see food ... they eat it.\\n',\n",
       " \"Two lovers who had been apart for some time were reunited on a foggy day. One whispered to the other 'I mist you'.\\n\",\n",
       " 'If every car in the country were white you would live in a white carnation.\\n',\n",
       " 'A library should have several floors because it is a multi story building.\\n',\n",
       " 'Some cooks have a shellfish attitude.\\n',\n",
       " 'If they say you look good in glasses that would be an optical allusion.\\n',\n",
       " \"There was an eye doctor who wanted to re-locate but couldn't find a job because he didn't have enough contacts.\\n\",\n",
       " 'Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven eight nine.\\n',\n",
       " 'There was a snake that gave birth to a bouncing baby boa.\\n',\n",
       " \"They tried to hand it to me as a clock maker but I just couldn't face it.\\n\",\n",
       " 'A lot of big delivery companies are always trying to courier favour.\\n',\n",
       " 'If you want a metal dog leash go to a chain store.\\n',\n",
       " 'Two peanuts were walking in a tough neighborhood and one of them was a-salted.\\n',\n",
       " 'Britain is a wet place since the queen has had a long reign.\\n',\n",
       " 'Employed by his jailbird father-in-law a guy soon realized that when an inlaw works for an outlaw -- income depends on outcome.\\n',\n",
       " 'If you saw a bear foot in the woods it would give you paws for concern.\\n',\n",
       " \"Rumors about the army often have a kernel of truth to them but not in a major way and generally aren't private.\\n\",\n",
       " 'Lawyers wear law suits.\\n',\n",
       " \"If you're a gardener you might call yourself a 'plant manager'.\\n\",\n",
       " 'If you go for a job interview at a rubber stamp company try to make a good impression.\\n',\n",
       " 'Birds dont mind fowl weather in fact they usually find it just ducky.\\n',\n",
       " 'Some diets cause a gut reaction.\\n',\n",
       " \"Our country's olympic swimming program has quite a talent pool.\\n\",\n",
       " 'Those who study tornadoes have twistered minds.\\n',\n",
       " \"A book called 'Current Trends in Wiring your House' turned out to be a shocking failure.\\n\",\n",
       " 'Have an optometrist run for president, because they are people of vision.\\n',\n",
       " 'Computers at breakfast food companies use serial i/o.\\n',\n",
       " \"If there's one person you don't want to interrupt in the middle of a sentence it's a judge.\\n\",\n",
       " 'Hypochondriacs like chamPagne.\\n',\n",
       " 'If you spend too long commuting every day half your job is line dancing and brake dancing.\\n',\n",
       " 'The best way to stop a charging bull is to take away his credit card.\\n',\n",
       " 'My karma ran over my dogma.\\n',\n",
       " 'The one thing that is constant is Change especially if you are a cashier.\\n',\n",
       " 'When their boy was little they only got rest after son down.\\n',\n",
       " 'Those interested only in board games at Christmas might just be chess nuts roasting by an open fire.\\n',\n",
       " 'When a fire broke out in the barber shop it was a close shave but everyone got out by a whisker.\\n',\n",
       " 'A country which expels the Red Cross would have to view it as a banned aid solution.\\n',\n",
       " 'Two foxes chasing four rabbits decided to split hares.\\n',\n",
       " 'Getting into the skunk selling business might make a lot of scents.\\n',\n",
       " 'Women firefighters use support hose.\\n',\n",
       " 'A boy who looked like his father the sculptor was a chip off the old block.\\n',\n",
       " 'When driving Mickey Mouse sings cartunes.\\n',\n",
       " 'A crazy programmer with a cold is a coughing hacker.\\n',\n",
       " \"An orchestra was going to broadcast some jazz live onto the net from a small room but discovered it didn't have enough band width.\\n\",\n",
       " 'In a baseball season a pitcher is worth a thousand blurs.\\n',\n",
       " \"You won't often catch loggers or farmers going against the grain.\\n\",\n",
       " 'Heavenly bodies have an attractive force.\\n',\n",
       " 'Poets who want to go hunting have to get a poetic license.\\n',\n",
       " \"The day Lee became a father someone mentioned 'apparently you're a parent -- Lee'\\n\",\n",
       " 'If you get a fruit basket from your psychiatrist it will probably be shrink-wrapped.\\n',\n",
       " \"To some Christmas is about other people's presence.\\n\",\n",
       " 'Old race car drivers never die, they just write their auto biography.\\n',\n",
       " 'A librarian caught stealing had the book thrown at her and was put in a three storey jail.\\n',\n",
       " 'Firefighters have to take the heat when something goes wrong.\\n',\n",
       " 'The first scientists who studied fog were mistified.\\n',\n",
       " \"For every jailor who makes a guarded comment there's a prisoner who lets words escape.\\n\",\n",
       " 'Did you hear about the guy who planted bullets? He wanted to see a lot of little shoots.\\n',\n",
       " \"There's a new olympic event for men who are thin on top called the balderdash.\\n\",\n",
       " 'A hen is an egg spurt at what she does.\\n',\n",
       " 'When my camera fell in the toffee I was making, I got a very candied picture.\\n',\n",
       " 'A boxer who wants to get married has the ring to worry about.\\n',\n",
       " 'Some butchers make cutting remarks to those they meet with and get in a real stew.\\n',\n",
       " 'A guy who crashed his model T Ford was a T totaller.\\n',\n",
       " 'Artists are colorful people who draw on their emotions.\\n',\n",
       " 'Fishers often wet their appetite.\\n',\n",
       " 'If you have need of a locksmith he will be your key man.\\n',\n",
       " 'If you get too thin you just might be a human bean.\\n',\n",
       " 'Executives in bronzeware companies are called the Top Brass\\n',\n",
       " 'To some animals a mink coat is a furful sight.\\n',\n",
       " \"Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I'll show you A-flat minor.\\n\",\n",
       " 'When the electricity went off during a storm at a school the students were de-lighted.\\n',\n",
       " 'A letter carrier career is a mail dominated profession.\\n',\n",
       " 'Bill Gates took advantage of his Windows of opportunity\\n',\n",
       " 'Two weathermen each broke an arm and a leg in an accident and called from the hospital about the four casts.\\n',\n",
       " 'When a gambler gets up in the morning he has to pick the right suit before he shuffles off to deal with his day.\\n',\n",
       " 'A mathematician who was also a horticulturist was interested in prime roots square roots and trees in general.\\n',\n",
       " \"Lions don't have to worry about every little detail in life...just the mane thing.\\n\",\n",
       " \"Tell a baker his dough has fallen and you'll get a rise out of him.\\n\",\n",
       " 'There are so many statistics in baseball that the players are now running around data bases.\\n',\n",
       " 'If you operate a drill press you have a boring job.\\n',\n",
       " 'An ancient Greek shoemaker ran home when there was an earthquake only to discover he had fallen arches.\\n',\n",
       " 'A city worker who campaigned for new sewer pipes finally had to go underground.\\n',\n",
       " 'A deadbeat statistician spray paints walls with graphiti.\\n',\n",
       " 'A gambling gardener usually hedges his bets.\\n',\n",
       " 'A farmer wanting to kill a chicken for dinner has to move faster than a speeding pullet.\\n',\n",
       " 'A guy who accidentally drove his small import into a giant shrink-wrap machine had his Fiat sealed.\\n',\n",
       " \"A Maitre'D is more than just a door belle.\\n\",\n",
       " 'An irate loanshark owed money by John Stone proved that you Can get blood out of a stone.\\n',\n",
       " \"For those who live in the land of ice it'snow problem.\\n\",\n",
       " 'They called him the king of the dentists because he specialized in crowns.\\n',\n",
       " 'Coffee has bean the grounds of many a heated and strong discussion.\\n',\n",
       " 'When the government designs a new penny the number of government workers that have to approve the design is ten per cent.\\n',\n",
       " 'Herb gardeners who work extra get thyme and a half.\\n',\n",
       " 'A gymnast with unbalanced thinking was floored by an unparalleled accident.\\n',\n",
       " 'If you send a letter to the Philippines put it in a Manila envelope.\\n',\n",
       " 'A music company put pianos outside for a sale but protected their internal organs.\\n',\n",
       " 'A teacher having a tough time longs for the end of the school daze.\\n',\n",
       " 'A computer program attached to an electric chair would have to have its execution checked carefully.\\n',\n",
       " 'There are two towns named Hope and Merritt. A friend of mine lives beyond Hope without Merritt.\\n',\n",
       " 'When police discovered a huge cache of stolen camping equipment they called in the public to view a table of con-tents.\\n',\n",
       " 'If you take a job in the far east you will have to go through an Orient-ation period.\\n',\n",
       " 'Hard water is sometimes used to make soft drinks.\\n',\n",
       " 'There was a telephone repair man named Jack who was always wired on coffee but he always put in a good plug for the company.\\n',\n",
       " 'Candy who was a sweet girl married Rich who was a wealthy guy.\\n',\n",
       " \"A little girl who was always talking was nicknamed 'little miss information'.\\n\",\n",
       " 'An archaeologist found a mummy lying in a sleeping position and reported that the artifact was emBedded.\\n',\n",
       " 'A primitive tribe known as the Inno had no money - until they reached the age of Inno cents.\\n',\n",
       " 'A keynote address should be given by a singing locksmith.\\n',\n",
       " 'A railroad engineer must be sure not to lose his train of thought or he might go down the wrong track.\\n',\n",
       " \"A sailor eating alphabet soup found the seven C's.\\n\",\n",
       " 'A start-up company making rubber bands had to stretch their budget but they managed to hold things together.\\n',\n",
       " 'If you walk along a railroad track you may soon feel run down.\\n',\n",
       " 'People have a happy time vacationing in Ireland because they are walking on Eire.\\n',\n",
       " 'Before an airline changes a process they have to have a pilot project to find out if the idea will fly.\\n',\n",
       " 'The sum total of our national debt is some total.\\n',\n",
       " 'A doctor who fell on his funny bone had a nurse tell him it was a humerus incident.\\n',\n",
       " \"Fishers don't have much of a social safety net besides a river bank.\\n\",\n",
       " 'A little boy was so full of energy that even when he read a book it was a hyper text.\\n',\n",
       " 'Old bankers never die, they just pass the buck.\\n',\n",
       " 'With a little boy who is always happy in the morning we could watch the son rise and then the son shine.\\n',\n",
       " 'Palace guards usually eat sleep and drink securi-tea.\\n',\n",
       " 'Stationery store employees formed a musical group called the Elastic Band.\\n',\n",
       " \"When he lost his wife's shoe he felt like a heel but knew the sole fault was his.\\n\",\n",
       " 'A bride-to-be got a hoarse throat walking in the rain to her bridal shower.\\n',\n",
       " \"A gardening store owner who often called long distance for importing realized that talk and dirt aren't necessarily cheap.\\n\",\n",
       " 'A psychotherapist named Anna Liza wore a Freudian slip.\\n',\n",
       " \"When the 'big cheese' of the company came to a meeting and sat between the president and vice-president he turned out to be a big cheese grilled sandwich.\\n\",\n",
       " \"A man named Jim Golf offered training on building golf courses called Golf's golf course course.\\n\",\n",
       " \"When you can't decide with your friends whose place to have a party at it's known as party politics.\\n\",\n",
       " 'Sometimes a pencil sharpener is needed in order to make a good point.\\n',\n",
       " 'When news that a meat shipment was coming reached the gold rush you could stake your claim and then claim your steak.\\n',\n",
       " 'If your mind is clouded or in a fog you may have mist some opportunities.\\n',\n",
       " \"One leftover said to another 'foiled again.'\\n\",\n",
       " 'A woman who became queen considered it her crowning achievement.\\n',\n",
       " \"Backups are usually a good thing unless it's a sewer.\\n\",\n",
       " 'One-one was one racehorse: two-one was one too -- two-one won one race: one-one won one too.\\n',\n",
       " 'Bankers might have their own interest at heart when discussing alone with you.\\n',\n",
       " 'Scientists wanting to send a rocket to Jupiter had to really planet.\\n',\n",
       " 'A parade of horses went down Mane street.\\n',\n",
       " 'A photographer named Jill lacked focus so they shutter out of a job in a snap.\\n',\n",
       " 'Breeders for lab science animals are definitely part of the rat race.\\n',\n",
       " 'A musician tripped over a chord which resulted in a nasty note.\\n',\n",
       " 'The builders of raceways believe that one good turn deserves another.\\n',\n",
       " \"A kettle on the stove was singing 'Home on the Range'.\\n\",\n",
       " 'If all your troubles are melting away watch out for the floods.\\n',\n",
       " \"A grizzly's grandparents are his forebears.\\n\",\n",
       " 'Campers need to have a positive in-tent.\\n',\n",
       " 'Birds can be soft on themselves or down on themselves but they are fair weather friends.\\n',\n",
       " 'Old accountants never die, they just lose their balance.\\n',\n",
       " \"If you are what you eat, I'm staying away from the nuts!\\n\",\n",
       " 'Those who work on reducing auto emissions go home exhausted.\\n',\n",
       " 'A computer store takes inventory to monitor progress including a disk-count.\\n',\n",
       " 'A manufacturer that made lamps gave their employees a light workload.\\n',\n",
       " 'Cottage cheese diet: eating your curds and weigh.\\n',\n",
       " 'If you ride a bus you have to pay your fare share.\\n',\n",
       " \"When do King Arthur's men practice? Joust at knight.\\n\",\n",
       " 'An accountant for a restaurant has to be sure the books are not cooked.\\n',\n",
       " 'A scientist who wanted a tattoo got a skin graph.\\n',\n",
       " 'Cooks have a lot of spice in their lives.\\n',\n",
       " 'The seascape painter who spilled paint on herself was feeling quite blue.\\n',\n",
       " 'Corn is so versatile that it is an a-maize-ing grain.\\n',\n",
       " 'A scientist who became a racing car driver drove on Formula One.\\n',\n",
       " 'A lawyer using a facsimile machine must be sure to get his fax straight.\\n',\n",
       " 'In the sea do you measure the speed of the tide in knots?\\n',\n",
       " \"A photographer taking pictures of golfers says 'watch the birdie'.\\n\",\n",
       " 'In a surfing competition the winner got wave reviews.\\n',\n",
       " 'Underpaid weather forecasters predicted a storm of protest.\\n',\n",
       " 'Car salesmen compete trying to sell for the lease amount.\\n',\n",
       " 'A bank manager without anyone around may find themself a-loan.\\n',\n",
       " 'Monorail enthusiasts have a one track mind.\\n',\n",
       " 'Some people who refinish kitchens could be known as counter-fitters.\\n',\n",
       " \"A man given a watch at his retirement said 'it's about time'.\\n\",\n",
       " 'To golf at your favorite course may require a long drive.\\n',\n",
       " 'The date soldiers wait for is March Forth.\\n',\n",
       " 'Luggage sales trends are determined using case studies.\\n',\n",
       " \"A sheep owner who sold his flock for too little was told: 'ewe were fleeced.'\\n\",\n",
       " 'A music store owner has to have sound business practices.\\n',\n",
       " 'Lumberjacks have to keep problem logs.\\n',\n",
       " 'Businesses selling pleasure boats often have a sail.\\n',\n",
       " \"A china doll was marked in tiny letters: 'maid in USA'.\\n\",\n",
       " 'A dentist with a toothache could have a bad impact on his patients.\\n',\n",
       " 'When a duck is feeling down he might just be happy.\\n',\n",
       " 'A cyclist whose vehicle fell over a bridge had to wave bye cycle.\\n',\n",
       " 'The first time wine taster had a blanc stare on his face.\\n',\n",
       " 'An inventor had his nose to the grindstone until he invented a good axe sharpener. Another stuck to it until he had a good glue.\\n',\n",
       " 'For greeting card companies their fate is in the cards.\\n',\n",
       " 'Drug research companies have created their own cold rush.\\n',\n",
       " 'Buying a cheap mouse could leave you with a squeak and a sad tale.\\n',\n",
       " 'Mattresses are tested in a test bed.\\n',\n",
       " 'Becoming a yoga instructor offers the possibilities of a unique teaching position.\\n',\n",
       " 'A tight-rope walker enjoys being on-line.\\n',\n",
       " \"If you don't know how to choose music ask a guitarist - they know how to pick.\\n\",\n",
       " 'Your nose is in the scenter of your face.\\n',\n",
       " 'An adventurer paddling on a northern river got cold and lit a fire in his boat only to discover that you cannot have your kayak and heat it too.\\n',\n",
       " 'Animals that tunnel in the soil have to have an escape root.\\n',\n",
       " 'A book store and clothing store merged under the name text-aisles.\\n',\n",
       " \"When purchasing soap if you buy two and get one free that's a bar-gain.\\n\",\n",
       " 'If word processing a presentation about guns -- be sure to know how to use bullets.\\n',\n",
       " 'A construction worker apprentice has to learn foundation principles before going on to more concrete subjects.\\n',\n",
       " \"A computer student was told to work harder in school or he wouldn't get an up-grade.\\n\",\n",
       " 'A woman union leader who was pregnant had labor pains and then a striking baby.\\n',\n",
       " 'Gardeners like to spring into action.\\n',\n",
       " 'Is military intelligence a contradiction in terms?\\n',\n",
       " 'A tire store loves a chance to Roll out a new product.\\n',\n",
       " \"An armed robber who yelled 'freeze' at an ice-making plant was given a cold reception by the police.\\n\",\n",
       " 'It takes only moments to go and get seconds but hours practice to take good minutes.\\n',\n",
       " 'A mechanic who was also a musician was good at tuning things.\\n',\n",
       " 'Some burglars are always looking for windows of opportunity.\\n',\n",
       " 'Artists know where to draw the line.\\n',\n",
       " \"A painter's joke may be off-color while a cook's might be tasteless.\\n\",\n",
       " \"Show me a baker who is on a roll and I'll show you someone sitting on a bun.\\n\",\n",
       " 'Some music stores are in a CD part of town.\\n',\n",
       " 'If you tell a falsehood just after waking up you are lying in bed.\\n',\n",
       " 'A fired newspaper editor took an ex-press train out of town.\\n',\n",
       " 'Canyons can be gorge-ous.\\n',\n",
       " 'A bankrupt window installer felt the pane of shattered dreams.\\n',\n",
       " 'A racer who was also a golfer really knew how to drive.\\n',\n",
       " \"Snails as freight would be 'S'-cargo.\\n\",\n",
       " 'When some coins fell into the batter it turned out to be a rich cake.\\n',\n",
       " 'An apple farmer with poor yields has to get to the core of the problem.\\n',\n",
       " 'A sailor has ties to home but is knot there often.\\n',\n",
       " 'My grandmother learned grammar by wrote.\\n',\n",
       " 'An accountant at a coffee company is known as a bean counter.\\n',\n",
       " 'Taking skin off fruit might include paring a pair of pears.\\n',\n",
       " 'Some mathematicians are on the negative side while others are quite positive.\\n',\n",
       " 'After coming to work and play musicians come home suite home.\\n',\n",
       " 'If a prince is thrown to the air he might also remember that he is heir to the throne.\\n',\n",
       " 'Some people use a restaurant to rest-and-rant.\\n',\n",
       " 'A police dog is often the scenter of a drug arrest.\\n',\n",
       " 'A heavy drinker of hard liquor appears to be in high spirits.\\n',\n",
       " \"A politician who had been an astronomer was always saying 'no comet'.\\n\",\n",
       " 'Digging a hole for a coffin is a grave matter.\\n',\n",
       " 'Autobiography of a newspaper editor: My Times in the Sun.\\n',\n",
       " 'An old spice wholesaler is a seasoned veteran.\\n',\n",
       " \"At a music store: 'hear here'.\\n\",\n",
       " 'A horse named storm could ride like lightning with the rein.\\n',\n",
       " 'Leftover spaghetti is pasta its prime.\\n',\n",
       " 'Creative weather forecasters do a lot of brain storming.\\n',\n",
       " 'Sailors often come from have-knot countries.\\n',\n",
       " 'A janitor with a broom in hand swept her off her feet.\\n',\n",
       " 'The brightest day of the week is Sun-day\\n',\n",
       " 'Some who go sip also gossip.\\n',\n",
       " 'Watches can be displayed and sold on a time table.\\n',\n",
       " 'A comedian was published post humorously.\\n',\n",
       " \"Those whose child is going through a 'phase' may wish they had a phaser.\\n\",\n",
       " 'The color of the sun in the early morning: rose.\\n',\n",
       " 'At shearing time there are some sheep thrills.\\n',\n",
       " 'Some managers are un-NO-able.\\n',\n",
       " 'Ancient orators tended to Babylon.\\n',\n",
       " \"Don't disturb anyone working on a puzzle or you may get some cross words.\\n\",\n",
       " 'People working in a feed mill are not interested in getting feedback.\\n',\n",
       " 'The old doctors practice of bloodletting was all in vein.\\n',\n",
       " 'When fabric softener was invented it made people ex-static.\\n',\n",
       " \"A bad shoemaker's assistant was given the boot.\\n\",\n",
       " 'Politicians like tall buildings because they seek high offices.\\n',\n",
       " 'If you are coughing in the cold for too long you could wind up in a cold coffin.\\n',\n",
       " 'Selling coffee has its perks for those who have bean so lucky.\\n',\n",
       " 'A thermometer making company manager was a hot head who sometimes boiled over.\\n',\n",
       " \"Jim: 'Did you hear about the guy who ate twenty pancakes for breakfast?' Joe: 'How waffle.'\\n\",\n",
       " 'Those with fishing rods like situations from reel life.\\n',\n",
       " 'A box of food you buy for breakfast will have a cereal number on it.\\n',\n",
       " 'Some gas station owners are very self-serving.\\n',\n",
       " 'Earlier times saw more hand-maid items.\\n',\n",
       " 'The king of boasts for a zoo was a lion named Aurora.\\n',\n",
       " 'A pair of loud twins were stereo speakers.\\n',\n",
       " 'A group of singers wore coral necklaces.\\n',\n",
       " 'A guy became so good with a chainsaw that he was promoted to branch manager.\\n',\n",
       " 'A cosmetic surgeon knows how to raise a few eyebrows.\\n',\n",
       " \"Waiting for her photos to be developed a young girl sang 'Some day my prints will come.'\\n\",\n",
       " \"When your internet provider goes bankrupt it's a 'net loss.\\n\",\n",
       " 'Blacksmiths used to forge strong links with their customers.\\n',\n",
       " 'Some people still think that writing long stories is a novel idea.\\n',\n",
       " 'The invention of concrete was soon reinforced as a solid entry into the construction market.\\n',\n",
       " 'Basketball players are always bouncing ideas off each other.\\n',\n",
       " 'Chiropractors rub some people the wrong way.\\n',\n",
       " 'Laser surgery on knees is done with knee-on lights.\\n',\n",
       " 'If you deliver automobile parts be sure to get your bearings.\\n',\n",
       " 'An undertaker named Barry was involved in an underground plot.\\n',\n",
       " 'A politician who was a proper goose was a victim of propaganda.\\n',\n",
       " 'On a long trek nomads use camels to get them over the hump.\\n',\n",
       " \"Asked by a waiter if she would like a drink the lady replied 'wine not?'\\n\",\n",
       " \"A teacher must ensure her overheads aren't over the heads of her students.\\n\",\n",
       " 'A man who wore lots of after-shave lotion was quite a pun-gent man.\\n',\n",
       " 'A cowboy who was also an artist could draw fast.\\n',\n",
       " 'Some women approaching 30 look for a man-date to get married.\\n',\n",
       " 'You have to give credit to people who work in stores during a holiday - and many people do.\\n',\n",
       " 'African carnivores mainly eat fast food.\\n',\n",
       " 'If an animal looses its tail it should shop at a retail store.\\n',\n",
       " \"If you don't fix the plumbing for your shower properly you could be in a lot of hot water.\\n\",\n",
       " 'Those working in tissue research and testing are always blowing it.\\n',\n",
       " 'A not-very-good art teacher was good only at drawing blank faces.\\n',\n",
       " 'To draw cartoons for a living requires someone who is very animated.\\n',\n",
       " 'To teach someone how to build a compass you have to be good at giving directions.\\n',\n",
       " 'An astronomy column in the newspaper would have a lot of space devoted to it.\\n',\n",
       " 'A skier who makes it to the olympics finds that it is all down hill from there.\\n',\n",
       " 'A fisherman who was also a pianist was an expert with scales.\\n',\n",
       " 'For a chemist disappointed in an experiment the reaction was on his face.\\n',\n",
       " 'The size a dieter would like to get to is the sighs of relief.\\n',\n",
       " \"Shepherds are sheepish people who don't like staff meetings.\\n\",\n",
       " 'Ancient architects went through columns of figures to figure their columns.\\n',\n",
       " 'A locksmith has to have a good Combination of skills.\\n',\n",
       " 'Two churches being built in a race to completion were on a steeple chase.\\n',\n",
       " 'Astronomers often have their own private view-points.\\n',\n",
       " 'You have to fill out many government forms because there are many forms of government.\\n',\n",
       " 'A politician decided to resign on the day of an eclipse because it was a dark day.\\n',\n",
       " 'A surgeon who operates on hands likes his palms greased.\\n',\n",
       " 'Soldiers in plays like to Shakespeares.\\n',\n",
       " 'An office with many people and few electrical outlets could be in for a power struggle.\\n',\n",
       " 'An egotist is someone who is usually me-deep in conversation.\\n',\n",
       " 'An astronaut who fails on a weightlessness experiment must be aware of the gravity of the situation.\\n',\n",
       " \"If a cow is being fed properly but doesn't give milk there must be an udder reason.\\n\",\n",
       " 'A secretary for a hardware store has to file more than nails.\\n',\n",
       " 'A waiter who played tennis was great at serving.\\n',\n",
       " \"Wrestlers don't like to be put on hold.\\n\",\n",
       " \"Endorsement by an olympic swimmer caused a company's profits to dive.\\n\",\n",
       " 'A comedian with a PHD is known as a wise-crack.\\n',\n",
       " 'Food for bad dogs is bought by the pound.\\n',\n",
       " 'A cutlery manufacturing company was built at a fork in the road.\\n',\n",
       " 'The organizational get together for a company football team was called a kickoff meeting.\\n',\n",
       " 'A guy bought a skipping rope because his doctor prescribed pills for two days running and then skip a day.\\n',\n",
       " 'Heart surgeons never bypass a good opportunity.\\n',\n",
       " 'A tattle tale pig is a squealer.\\n',\n",
       " \"A drummer who broke his drum and didn't pay for it was a dead-beat.\\n\",\n",
       " 'A skier who loses a race on a cold day will have a frosty disposition.\\n',\n",
       " \"In business reaching higher is good unless it's a bank teller during a stickup.\\n\",\n",
       " 'A lawyer for a church did some cross-examining.\\n',\n",
       " 'A flea can fly and a fly can flee -- a dog can bark and so can a tree.\\n',\n",
       " 'An electric company is always looking for high energy employees.\\n',\n",
       " 'A professor without a pointer may find that his lecture is pointless.\\n',\n",
       " 'A will is a relative thing.\\n',\n",
       " 'In middle east outdoor markets you can find bazaar items for sale.\\n',\n",
       " 'Plumbers often have pipe dreams.\\n',\n",
       " 'Sailors like to seas opportunities.\\n',\n",
       " 'An angry sprinter has to make a mad dash.\\n',\n",
       " \"When a tailor was asked how a suit was coming he replied 'sew far sew good'.\\n\",\n",
       " 'A mechanic bolted out of his shop to find some nuts only to wrench his back.\\n',\n",
       " 'A guy who made pots for a living fell on hard times and became a pan handler.\\n',\n",
       " 'Are fish smart because they spawn good ideas while in schools?\\n',\n",
       " 'Cigarettes in a washroom is all smoke and mirrors.\\n',\n",
       " 'A romantic florist likes two-lips.\\n',\n",
       " 'With an agent for a girl who is a pop singer it is all hit and miss.\\n',\n",
       " 'For many people cats are the purrfect pet that they like to paws with after a busy day.\\n',\n",
       " 'A speeding bullet could be a Hard and Fast rule.\\n',\n",
       " 'When a cow climbs a hill the cream comes to the top.\\n',\n",
       " 'Salespeople selling security equipment like to see people get alarmed.\\n',\n",
       " 'Math teachers have lots of problems.\\n',\n",
       " 'If a lawyer can be disbarred can a musician be denoted or a model deposed?\\n',\n",
       " 'In a Scandinavian race the last Lapp crossed the Finnish line.\\n',\n",
       " 'Diets are for people who are thick and tired of it all.\\n',\n",
       " \"If you're looking for oranges on an apple tree you will have a fruitless search.\\n\",\n",
       " \"A dermatologist's knowledge may only be skin deep.\\n\",\n",
       " 'Luggage salespeople have to make a good case for you to buy.\\n',\n",
       " 'If you work in a bakery you may have to take on many roles.\\n',\n",
       " 'A guy who used to sell boomerangs is trying for a comeback.\\n',\n",
       " 'Fortune tellers have to work on their prophetability.\\n',\n",
       " \"If you attend a convention it's amazing how many unconventional people you meet.\\n\",\n",
       " 'Many people need to learn to be happy with the State they are in.\\n',\n",
       " 'Undertakers have to get up early in the mourning.\\n',\n",
       " 'Miners with illuminated helmets say it makes them feel lightheaded.\\n',\n",
       " 'Swimmers have to be careful not to get into deep trouble.\\n',\n",
       " 'Those who reach their 42nd birthday celebrate it with fortitude.\\n',\n",
       " 'People who live in the mountains have their own viewpoint.\\n',\n",
       " 'Plumbers often have to tap their natural abilities.\\n',\n",
       " 'Photographers are often very candid people.\\n',\n",
       " 'Can honeybee abuse lead to a sting operation?\\n',\n",
       " 'Mr. Wright made the right decision to hire a right hand man.\\n',\n",
       " \"If a town's people have low IQs is the population dense?\\n\",\n",
       " 'Tailors have a measure of happiness because they are well suited to their jobs.\\n',\n",
       " 'Doctors feel fine on ships because they are accustomed to see sickness.\\n',\n",
       " 'A math professor in an unheated room is cold and calculating.\\n',\n",
       " 'Those who choose not to eat, slowly get hungry -- and Fast.\\n',\n",
       " 'Upon discovering her children playing with matches their mother was flaming mad.\\n',\n",
       " 'Rabbits generally lead a hoppy life.\\n',\n",
       " 'Sea captains have a lot of latitude.\\n',\n",
       " 'A six foot poet stanza very tall.\\n',\n",
       " 'A promoted electrician felt a surge as a result of the switch.\\n',\n",
       " 'A telephone repair man who was widely traveled went from pole to pole.\\n',\n",
       " 'Those who live near the international date line can easily pass the time.\\n',\n",
       " 'Pipe fitters often have high pressure jobs.\\n',\n",
       " 'Duncan sees donuts as his worst problem so he figures he dozen have to worry too much.\\n',\n",
       " 'Where there are many chickens you can find layers of eggs.\\n',\n",
       " 'Beach owners would like surfers to sign waivers containing riders.\\n',\n",
       " 'If an embassy staff member steals documents and is sued in court it is considered to be an attach\\xe9 case?\\n',\n",
       " 'If you want to buy a hose you might go on a shopping spray.\\n',\n",
       " 'Buying a car is quite a show which is why car salespeople use a showroom.\\n',\n",
       " \"Stealing someone's coffee is called 'mugging'.\\n\",\n",
       " 'In democracy its your vote that counts. In feudalism its your count that votes.\\n',\n",
       " 'I need to cut my fingernails before they get too out of hand.\\n',\n",
       " 'Can a piece of antique clothing be uncomfortable? Of corset can.\\n',\n",
       " 'Dentists practice by going through many drills.\\n',\n",
       " 'A husband who thinks he is as solid as a rock may have a wife who wishes he was a little bolder.\\n',\n",
       " 'In some countries steaks are rare but if you can find one well done!\\n',\n",
       " 'If your clothes get wrinkled it could be de-pressing.\\n',\n",
       " 'Those who iron clothes have a lot of pressing demands.\\n',\n",
       " 'If you take alphabet soup on vacation, pack it in your upper case.\\n',\n",
       " 'Some people with a lot of vision started the Blind Institute.\\n',\n",
       " 'When writing out drink recipes you have to have a first draft.\\n',\n",
       " 'Those who like sport fishing can really get hooked.\\n',\n",
       " 'Artists have to get into a good Frame of mind.\\n',\n",
       " 'A secretary indented her car after leaving too narrow a margin.\\n',\n",
       " 'A tailor has a vest-ed interest in sewing up a profit.\\n',\n",
       " \"A contest held by fire fighters is called a 'match'.\\n\",\n",
       " 'A lawyer representing an angry cow finds just cause for sour milk in a dairy case.\\n',\n",
       " 'Burning too much incense in a rented room could make the owner incensed.\\n',\n",
       " 'Companies are called Firms because they take firm positions.\\n',\n",
       " 'A music store had a small sign which read: Bach in a Minuet.\\n',\n",
       " 'A hotel was looking for inn-experienced staff.\\n',\n",
       " 'Psychiatrists and rectal doctors deal with odds and ends.\\n',\n",
       " 'A horse is a very stable animal.\\n',\n",
       " 'Taxidermists really know their stuff.\\n',\n",
       " 'On the old trains the engineer had a lot of esteem.\\n',\n",
       " 'Execution with a noose causes a real hangover.\\n',\n",
       " 'A goat that ate office supplies was on a staple diet.\\n',\n",
       " 'Paying for college is often a matter of in-tuition.\\n',\n",
       " 'Writers under pressure are, at present, tense.\\n',\n",
       " 'A case of disappearing bison had police completely buffaloed.\\n',\n",
       " \"It's quiet in a bowling alley because you can hear a pin drop.\\n\",\n",
       " 'Some cooks have sizzling tempers and get easily steamed.\\n',\n",
       " 'Card sharks like to swim around at the bottom of the deck.\\n',\n",
       " 'As to teenagers, clothes are definitely one of their hang-ups.\\n',\n",
       " 'In the stock market mining hit rock bottom while cows steered into a bull market.\\n',\n",
       " \"As to how to play snooker, some people don't have a cue.\\n\",\n",
       " 'Lion tamers roar with laughter when they give their animal a funny bone to eat.\\n',\n",
       " 'There are many judges who would like to acquit smoking.\\n',\n",
       " 'Some horses cause their owners a lot of woe.\\n',\n",
       " 'Those who write about disease become ill-literate.\\n',\n",
       " 'She became a lifeguard at the beach and kept the buoys in line.\\n',\n",
       " 'A one-armed clock maker wished he had a second hand.\\n',\n",
       " \"A thief who stole cutlery without leaving a clue was called the 'stainless stealer.'\\n\",\n",
       " 'Bakeries find out how the business is doing with a pie chart.\\n',\n",
       " 'A leak in the back of a boat is a stern warning.\\n',\n",
       " 'A dog attending university would want a pe-digree.\\n',\n",
       " 'A spy who often worked from his basement bed was underground and undercover.\\n',\n",
       " 'A bank manager who was also a high jumper spent most of his time in the vault.\\n',\n",
       " 'Arrows make the enemy quiver while bombs make the enemy shake and quake.\\n',\n",
       " 'A cook made pancakes flippantly.\\n',\n",
       " 'A lost guy named Al had to be al-located.\\n',\n",
       " 'For children to eat without washing their hands would be a grime.\\n',\n",
       " 'Some cardiologists are heartless.\\n',\n",
       " 'Before writing his final version of a story an author has to have a pre-text.\\n',\n",
       " 'To plan a graveyard you need a skeleton idea before a detailed plan.\\n',\n",
       " 'A hangman telling a joke can be cord-ial but he will string you along to the punish line.\\n',\n",
       " \"A tall man isn't always a man of high standing.\\n\",\n",
       " 'Witches are good at spell-ing.\\n',\n",
       " 'A dead writer of music is de-composing.\\n',\n",
       " \"Mathematics teachers call retirement 'the aftermath'.\\n\",\n",
       " 'An emotional cook is all astir and mixed up.\\n',\n",
       " 'Old gardeners never die they just vegetate.\\n',\n",
       " 'Old teachers never die they just lose their class.\\n',\n",
       " 'Children can do some knotty things with string.\\n',\n",
       " 'Real estate agents believe in doing good deeds.\\n',\n",
       " 'Does a coffee shop have the grounds to operate in the black?\\n',\n",
       " 'Old judges never die they just slur their sentences.\\n',\n",
       " 'In the old days yelling at your neighbor across the street was a long distance call.\\n',\n",
       " 'Gardeners like to plant their feet firmly.\\n',\n",
       " 'A gardener who moved back to his home town rediscovered his roots.\\n',\n",
       " 'Are puns for children or groan-ups?\\n',\n",
       " 'A politician with a bad back needs lots of support.\\n',\n",
       " 'Tight-rope walkers are high strung.\\n',\n",
       " 'Sea captains can be port-ly.\\n',\n",
       " 'Bike sales go in cycles.\\n',\n",
       " 'The inventor of the electric light bulb was brilliant because his ideas were so illuminating.\\n',\n",
       " 'Ballet dancers are really kept on their toes.\\n',\n",
       " 'Students who accent their textbooks with color markers add a real highlight to their day.\\n',\n",
       " 'Two sailors named Brad Stowe and Ben Lowe had to B.stow their things B.low.\\n',\n",
       " 'Someone with contact lense problems eventually found a solution.\\n',\n",
       " \"Some people don't like food going to waist.\\n\",\n",
       " 'Whoever invented binary logic knew how to put two and two together.\\n',\n",
       " 'The case against a donut thief was full of holes.\\n',\n",
       " \"If a pig loses it's voice is it disgruntled?\\n\",\n",
       " 'On the surface of things whales are always blowing it.\\n',\n",
       " 'Bakers have a great knead to make bread.\\n',\n",
       " 'Well drilling is a deep subject.\\n',\n",
       " 'Ancient scribes who hired Aztec writers had to make sure the Inca was dry.\\n',\n",
       " 'Two construction workers had a stairing contest.\\n',\n",
       " 'Blind people often work on-site.\\n',\n",
       " 'A busy barber is quite harried.\\n',\n",
       " 'Weather forecasters have to have lots of degrees.\\n',\n",
       " 'Using fingers to count is a digit-al calculator.\\n',\n",
       " 'A pear shaped like a church bell is a-pealing.\\n',\n",
       " 'Some people love horoscopes to pisces.\\n',\n",
       " 'Hotel sign: Do drop in to the Dew-drop Inn\\n',\n",
       " 'Farmers are always industrious while industry is always growing.\\n',\n",
       " 'The prairie quartet sang flat while the scissors trio sang sharp.\\n',\n",
       " 'I used to be a tap dancer until I fell in the sink.\\n',\n",
       " \"One palm tree said to another 'let's have a date.'\\n\",\n",
       " 'Being burned at the stake is a rare experience but is seldom well done.\\n',\n",
       " 'Those who make magnets can be quite attractive.\\n',\n",
       " 'An ambassador is the one who lies abroad for the good of the country.\\n',\n",
       " 'Some shoe sales have a good selection to boot.\\n',\n",
       " 'If you stumble over a good price for a vacation you will have a good trip.\\n',\n",
       " 'An experienced waiter can give a lot of good tips.\\n',\n",
       " 'A young girl in charge of her tribe would be called little miss-chief.\\n',\n",
       " 'When poker players have to fold they feel a bit discarded.\\n',\n",
       " 'A donkey inspector has to assess the asses.\\n',\n",
       " 'A gardener buys super seeds to supersede the garden from the previous year.\\n',\n",
       " 'A tailor had many problems to address.\\n',\n",
       " 'An architect for a church would draw a cross section.\\n',\n",
       " \"When bottled water is cheap it's called a liquidation sale.\\n\",\n",
       " 'For class schedules Yoga instructors are flexible.\\n',\n",
       " \"Midwives don't like to wear breeches.\\n\",\n",
       " \"The situation in the kitchen is so terrible that it's going from batter to waffle.\\n\",\n",
       " 'Old doctors never die they just lose their patience.\\n',\n",
       " 'There is some Confucion about the oldest religion in China.\\n',\n",
       " 'During branding cowboys have sore calves.\\n',\n",
       " \"If at first you don't succeed try the outfield.\\n\",\n",
       " 'A veterinarian knows how to make a dog heal.\\n',\n",
       " \"Don't let a candy seller sweet talk you.\\n\",\n",
       " \"After selling a shipment of salt the salesman said 'let's shake on that.'\\n\",\n",
       " 'A guy who built fences had post work depression.\\n',\n",
       " 'A bust is made of famous people who were a head of their time.\\n',\n",
       " 'Coaches usually have a goal in mind.\\n',\n",
       " 'Some soloists are so bad they should sing tenor twelve miles away.\\n',\n",
       " 'A hay farmer in jail could get out on bale.\\n',\n",
       " 'Dry cleaners are often pressed for time.\\n',\n",
       " 'Some people like to whine and dine.\\n',\n",
       " 'Some gamblers are always looking for a pair-a-dice.\\n',\n",
       " 'If you want to learn the ropes cowboys are usually accessibull.\\n',\n",
       " 'When he forgot to itemize what he wanted at the grocery store he felt quite listless.\\n',\n",
       " 'Writers see their publishers through authorize.\\n',\n",
       " 'Surfing is a swell sport!\\n',\n",
       " 'An authentic diamond is gemuine.\\n',\n",
       " 'An undercover doctor gave his operation a code name of LIVER.\\n',\n",
       " 'A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.\\n',\n",
       " 'Those who like to do the ironing find their pleasure in creases.\\n',\n",
       " \"You can tune a piano but you can't tuna-fish.\\n\",\n",
       " 'A pun is its own reword.\\n',\n",
       " 'Weather forecasters thinking is sometimes clouded.\\n',\n",
       " \"If you break a string on your guitar don't Fret.\\n\",\n",
       " 'A sleeping steer is also a bulldozer.\\n',\n",
       " 'Did you hear about the very old lady named Anne Teak?\\n',\n",
       " 'Those who play team sports usually have a ball.\\n',\n",
       " \"If you wish to be big don't belittle.\\n\",\n",
       " \"It's just like a cowboy to stirrup trouble.\\n\",\n",
       " 'Some people who cut hair can be quite barbarous.\\n',\n",
       " 'English teachers can keep a class Spell bound.\\n',\n",
       " 'Glue inventors have to stick to it.\\n',\n",
       " \"Those with scissors shouldn't use cutting words.\\n\",\n",
       " \"If you're alone and get too cold you might become ice-olated.\\n\",\n",
       " 'Whether you use a keyboard or a knife be careful with your back slash.\\n',\n",
       " 'A mumbling grain farmer can barley be understood. Give him a rye look.\\n',\n",
       " 'Spray paint sells for a good mark up.\\n',\n",
       " 'A hotel next to a dairy is called a mootel.\\n',\n",
       " 'The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.\\n',\n",
       " \"Girls who don't get asked out as often as their friends could feel out-dated.\\n\",\n",
       " 'When Ruth fell off the motorcycle her boyfriend drove on Ruthlessly.\\n',\n",
       " 'Looting a drugstore is called Pillaging.\\n',\n",
       " 'When the human cannonball was late for work he got fired.\\n',\n",
       " 'When computer programmers are hungry they take mega-bites.\\n',\n",
       " 'Someone who makes bicycle wheels is a spokes person.\\n',\n",
       " 'Some people find fire drills quite Alarming.\\n',\n",
       " 'Those who play musical instruments for radio or TV have to stay tuned.\\n',\n",
       " 'Iron was discovered because someone smelt it.\\n',\n",
       " 'The guy who sold his carnival got a Fair deal.\\n',\n",
       " \"You can whip our cream but you can't beat our milk.\\n\",\n",
       " 'If cats could read they would paws after each claws.\\n',\n",
       " 'A teenage professional athlete has to eat lots of pro-teen.\\n',\n",
       " 'A kitten born in the 10th month of the year is an Octo-puss.\\n',\n",
       " 'A third-generation clothes designer had it in her jeans.\\n',\n",
       " 'A tennis match organizer had a Smashing success and a Net profit.\\n',\n",
       " \"Most hunters are nice because they're such deer people.\\n\",\n",
       " \"Don't argue with a bomb inventor - he might blow up at you.\\n\",\n",
       " 'A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.\\n',\n",
       " \"Tennis players don't marry because Love means Nothing to them.\\n\",\n",
       " \"If you can't find anyone to sing with you have to duet yourself.\\n\",\n",
       " 'When a hospital runs out of maternity nurses they have a mid-wife crisis.\\n',\n",
       " 'A plateau is a high form of flattery.\\n',\n",
       " 'A long knife has been invented that cuts four loaves of bread at a time called a four loaf cleaver.\\n',\n",
       " 'Thieves who steal corn from a garden could be charged with stalking.\\n',\n",
       " 'To get a wig bald men have toupee a lot of money.\\n',\n",
       " 'Whenever I go near my bank I get withdrawal symptoms.\\n',\n",
       " 'The groundskeeper at a large cemetery was important because he had 5000 people under him.\\n',\n",
       " 'If you take a laptop computer for a run you could jog your memory.\\n',\n",
       " 'A group called the Balloons sings pop music.\\n',\n",
       " \"When baseball umpires aren't happy with their pay they call more strikes.\\n\",\n",
       " 'Drinking too much is an ale-ment.\\n',\n",
       " \"It's nice to visit a ranch because of the horsepitality.\\n\",\n",
       " 'A man giving a speech by candle-light can wax eloquent.\\n',\n",
       " \"Some funeral home employees don't like the graveyard shift.\\n\",\n",
       " \"Since my uncle got married I've had no use for nuance.\\n\",\n",
       " 'Mrs. Pickering works in a jewelery store.\\n',\n",
       " 'Well paid plumbers are flush but those who have to pay them get flushed.\\n',\n",
       " \"MISSOURI asked me to borrow MISSISSIPPIS's NEW JERSEY. I said 'I don't know - ALASKA'.\\n\",\n",
       " 'Things made in Australia are high koala-ty.\\n',\n",
       " 'He got angry at the Italian chef and gave him a pizza his mind.\\n',\n",
       " 'Twin monks who rang church bells died. They were dead ringers.\\n',\n",
       " 'A bachelor is a guy who is footloose and fiancee-free.\\n',\n",
       " 'You decide what kind of light bulbs to buy by a process of illumination.\\n',\n",
       " \"If you pay 25 cents to watch a bad football game don't expect your quarterback.\\n\",\n",
       " 'Two mining companies merged and became alloys.\\n',\n",
       " 'If you buy the same sound system as everyone else you are a stereo-type.\\n',\n",
       " 'Mickey Mouse gives some people Disney spells.\\n',\n",
       " 'The big new clock at city hall was the tock of the town.\\n',\n",
       " \"Lawyers have to like alcohol because they're always being called to the bar.\\n\",\n",
       " 'An unemployed logger is a would worker.\\n',\n",
       " 'You might think of someone as square who is actually well rounded.\\n',\n",
       " 'The staff at jewelry stores have hearts of gold.\\n',\n",
       " 'A doctor said he liked to treat Schizophrenia - there was no two ways about it.\\n',\n",
       " 'After taking the elevator to the top floor I felt very up-lifted.\\n',\n",
       " 'Cooks who use too many spices could be in-salted.\\n',\n",
       " 'When you sign up for a fitness class you also need a class action suit.\\n',\n",
       " 'Authors can be very PENsive.\\n',\n",
       " 'Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.\\n',\n",
       " 'Time wounds all heels.\\n',\n",
       " \"'Change the channel' she said remotely.\\n\",\n",
       " 'Donating items to sit on is called chairity.\\n',\n",
       " 'I will cut the grass only when I get Mowtivated.\\n',\n",
       " 'A restaurant owner gave his cooks a stirring speech.\\n',\n",
       " 'After Lorne left his girlfriend she was looking forlorn.\\n',\n",
       " 'Gossip travels faster over the sour grapevine.\\n',\n",
       " \"When I couldn't find my thesaurus I was at a loss for words.\\n\",\n",
       " 'A karate school restaurant served mainly chops.\\n',\n",
       " 'I know a pyromaniac who is so bad no one can Match him even if they get all fired up.\\n',\n",
       " \"The conductor who didn't pay his orchestra had to face the music.\\n\",\n",
       " 'A man with no pennies got into senseless trouble.\\n',\n",
       " 'Some people get married only for the matri-money.\\n',\n",
       " 'As a golfer you have to have good fore-sight.\\n',\n",
       " 'Cowboys in a rodeo can be sure to get a few bucks.\\n',\n",
       " 'When Emily made pickles she got herself into a real dil-emma.\\n',\n",
       " \"Chemist's work is element-ary.\\n\",\n",
       " \"Polly the senator's parrot swallowed a watch\\n\",\n",
       " 'A bee keeper will sell you honey with swarm wishes.\\n',\n",
       " 'A fired magician is dis-illusioned.\\n',\n",
       " 'The people stand up for royalty. The queen sits down for royal tea.\\n',\n",
       " \"When a priest makes a mistake in church it's a clerical error.\\n\",\n",
       " \"Cabbage should be eaten raw in fact that's Cole's Law.\\n\",\n",
       " 'When cave men got together they formed clubs.\\n',\n",
       " 'Those who forget the pasta are condemned to reheat it.\\n',\n",
       " 'Priests make sure they use the correct syn-tax.\\n',\n",
       " 'Those who transport salt are movers and shakers.\\n',\n",
       " 'Some childen are often on their pest behavior.\\n',\n",
       " 'I czeched on the prague-ress of my geography.\\n',\n",
       " 'Some business graphs are full of legend.\\n',\n",
       " 'Two companies that manufactured rulers decided to align.\\n',\n",
       " 'Working for a marketing agency is a real ad venture.\\n',\n",
       " \"A pun can be made on any subject except a king who isn't a subject.\\n\",\n",
       " 'A pirate wrote his wooden leg into his will as a leg-acy.\\n',\n",
       " 'A wide loaf had bread-th.\\n',\n",
       " \"If your mother's sister is against poker - the aunty may be anti-ante.\\n\",\n",
       " 'What investors have to lose weight? Stocky brokers.\\n',\n",
       " 'Telescope owners are starry eyed.\\n',\n",
       " 'Farmers can hardly wheat for a good harvest.\\n',\n",
       " 'I used to work in a blanket factory but it folded.\\n',\n",
       " 'The promises of some tailors are pure fabrication.\\n',\n",
       " 'A ham walked out of the hospital and said \"I\\'m cured\".\\n',\n",
       " 'Drinking a whole bucket of water could make you turn pail.\\n',\n",
       " 'The fine print is usually a clause for suspicion.\\n',\n",
       " 'The only things sure for cab drivers are debt and taxis.\\n',\n",
       " 'When a boxer practices in winter he may be out cold.\\n',\n",
       " 'When neon lights were perfected the inventor was positively glowing.\\n',\n",
       " \"When carrying your musical instrument over ice if you don't C sharp you will B flat.\\n\",\n",
       " 'Someone who attempts long distance fraud is known as a phony.\\n',\n",
       " 'The bear went over the mountain to see what was bruin.\\n',\n",
       " 'Thieves have muscles of steal.\\n',\n",
       " 'An animal that eats without stopping is a hippobottomless.\\n',\n",
       " \"A men's wear store has opening and clothing times.\\n\",\n",
       " 'Selling gasoline too cheaply would be fuelish.\\n',\n",
       " 'When walking through a pig barn be careful how you maneuver.\\n',\n",
       " 'Leftovers are repast history.\\n',\n",
       " \"Use conscience-stricken in a sentence: 'Never conscience-stricken before they're hatched.'\\n\",\n",
       " 'Employers like their mechanics to be geared up.\\n',\n",
       " \"What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead giveaway).\\n\",\n",
       " 'The Irish should be rich because their capital is always Dublin.\\n',\n",
       " \"'I have a split personality' said Tom being Frank.\\n\",\n",
       " 'My uncle called my grandfather a deer when he let my antelope.\\n',\n",
       " 'Kings worry about a receding heir line.\\n',\n",
       " 'Old presidents never die they just keep going through their cabinets.\\n',\n",
       " 'There was a guy who played the organ in his garden to get organically grown food.\\n',\n",
       " 'When he lost his bottle of gin he became very dis-spirited.\\n',\n",
       " 'Our cat is finally house broken - litterly.\\n',\n",
       " \"Securities are the cause of many people's insecurities.\\n\",\n",
       " 'Astronauts work in a nice atmosphere.\\n',\n",
       " 'Never put Descartes before the Horace!\\n',\n",
       " 'Look for an auto scrap yard at a junk-tion.\\n',\n",
       " 'She was listening for a Russell while walking through the trees.\\n',\n",
       " 'Civil servants named Grant are known as government grants.\\n',\n",
       " 'Religious people can be very amen-able.\\n',\n",
       " 'When it got stuck in the mud my car had to be toad.\\n',\n",
       " 'On a farm a horse and some pigs could be neigh-boars.\\n',\n",
       " 'When driving lawyers have to watch out for the sharp attorneys.\\n',\n",
       " \"Dead sharks aren't be-whaled especially when they are lone sharks.\\n\",\n",
       " \"The roundest knight at king Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.\\n\",\n",
       " 'What do you call cheese that is not yours? Nacho Cheese.\\n',\n",
       " 'Old power plant workers never die they just de-generate.\\n',\n",
       " 'When he spilled coffee on her shirt she showed him dis-stain.\\n',\n",
       " \"A man's home is his castle in a manor of speaking.\\n\",\n",
       " 'For some singing groups an encore is re-choired.\\n',\n",
       " \"Musicians need a leader because they don't know how to conduct themselves.\\n\",\n",
       " 'The fear of St. Nicholas is known as Claus-trophobia.\\n',\n",
       " 'The best gardening clubs are grass roots organizations.\\n',\n",
       " 'A drummer can cymbalize the enthusiasm of a band.\\n',\n",
       " 'If you find ten cents in each of your pockets be glad of the new paradigms.\\n',\n",
       " 'Weddings always have lots of marryment.\\n',\n",
       " 'Do dentists of foreign extraction pull teeth rootinely?\\n',\n",
       " \"A lifeguard's vocation is vacation.\\n\",\n",
       " \"Teachers' hands are usually chalk-full.\\n\",\n",
       " 'In many places Christmas is a custo-Mary holiday.\\n',\n",
       " 'Some car salesmen try and sell rack-and-opinion steering.\\n',\n",
       " \"When writing about shipwrecks you have to be succinct or you'll be sunk.\\n\",\n",
       " 'Diamond prospectors have to use a good strata-gem.\\n',\n",
       " 'Soft drink inventors saw a big popportunity.\\n',\n",
       " 'A noisy noise annoys an oyster.\\n',\n",
       " \"Alcohol and calculus don't mix so don't drink and derive.\\n\",\n",
       " \"When an actress saw her first strands of gray hair she thought she'd dye.\\n\",\n",
       " 'Old lawyers never die they just lose their appeal.\\n',\n",
       " \"Undertakers are nice - they're the last to let people down.\\n\",\n",
       " 'Those who watch too much football will wear out their end zone.\\n',\n",
       " 'Royal chairs are rarely throne out.\\n',\n",
       " \"When there's a sale on tennis balls it's first come first serve.\\n\",\n",
       " 'Male deer have buck teeth.\\n',\n",
       " 'Archery contests are usually won by an arrow margin.\\n',\n",
       " 'Giving praise is when you let off esteem.\\n',\n",
       " 'Authors lives are punctuated with good writing periods.\\n',\n",
       " 'In the old days a suspended sentence was hanging.\\n',\n",
       " 'Those who daydream in the bath tub are wishy-washy.\\n',\n",
       " \"If you're stiff as a board it could be the lumbar.\\n\",\n",
       " \"Twins are born more often on two's-day.\\n\",\n",
       " 'Young animal doctors are vet behind the ears.\\n',\n",
       " 'People who have a head like a sieve are usually re-strained.\\n',\n",
       " 'Some people have to get up for work at the crank of dawn.\\n',\n",
       " 'Musical mechanics always sing in parts.\\n',\n",
       " 'Some children think that their parents are all no-ing.\\n',\n",
       " 'An astronaut wrote about flying twice to the moon. It was double spaced.\\n',\n",
       " 'Sellers of dried grapes are always raisin awareness.\\n',\n",
       " 'A surgery nurse was demoted for being absent without gauze.\\n',\n",
       " 'When the branding iron was invented cattle were very impressed.\\n',\n",
       " 'Those who change the color of their food are on a dye-it.\\n',\n",
       " 'There was an orchestra conductor who threw tempo tantrums.\\n',\n",
       " 'When he no longer believed in ghosts he became quite dispirited.\\n',\n",
       " 'The fireplaces of oriental doctors have an Asian flue.\\n',\n",
       " 'A fight over love and money would be duel purpose.\\n',\n",
       " 'Those selling mattresses have a soft sell in the spring.\\n',\n",
       " 'A postal worker was always stamping her feet whenever they would letter.\\n',\n",
       " 'A dozen swimmers started a race at the stroke of twelve.\\n',\n",
       " 'The washrooms in a seafood restaurant were labelled Buoys and Gulls.\\n',\n",
       " \"Doctors' handwriting is often sickeningly ill-egible.\\n\",\n",
       " 'When priests have a good idea they are supposed to parish the thought.\\n',\n",
       " 'Boxers who are always on time for their bouts are very punchual.\\n',\n",
       " \"The sound that a golf cart makes is: 'putt..putt..putt'.\\n\",\n",
       " 'Bee keepers always manage to keep buzzy.\\n',\n",
       " \"Every calendar's days are numbered.\\n\",\n",
       " 'In a bakery buns usually play a small role.\\n',\n",
       " 'When a college dormitory exploded a lot of roomers were flying.\\n',\n",
       " 'Television sets in Britain have to cross the English Channel.\\n',\n",
       " \"A new lumberjack's union was started by a splinter group.\\n\",\n",
       " \"A pessimist's blood type is always b-negative.\\n\",\n",
       " \"Two cannon balls got married and had BB's.\\n\",\n",
       " \"If you try a jigsaw puzzle that is too hard don't go to pieces.\\n\",\n",
       " 'A good insurance company knows how to handle acclaim.\\n',\n",
       " 'When a baseball fell in the sewer it was called a foul ball.\\n',\n",
       " \"When a musician's toupee fell into his saxophone he blew his top.\\n\",\n",
       " 'A guy who inherited two yachts had a paradox.\\n',\n",
       " 'Landscaping to the left and right of a house produces side effects.\\n',\n",
       " 'When ancient wall sculptors were finished it was a relief.\\n',\n",
       " \"Nurses often have to check their patient's impulse without missing a beat.\\n\",\n",
       " 'Women who go fishing have allure.\\n',\n",
       " 'Food that goes rotten while being transported to the store is un-pallet-able.\\n',\n",
       " \"The janitor's union called for sweeping reforms.\\n\",\n",
       " 'You can only see the stars on a finite.\\n',\n",
       " 'Power saws are for people who like short-cuts.\\n',\n",
       " 'Ancient Roman senators liked to make big statutes.\\n',\n",
       " \"A criminal's best asset is his lie ability.\\n\",\n",
       " 'Unborn twins are womb-mates.\\n',\n",
       " 'Two podiatrists became arch rivals.\\n',\n",
       " 'What keeps a dock floating above water? Pier pressure.\\n',\n",
       " 'Before a plumber retired, he took the final plunge.\\n',\n",
       " 'When two bakers traded buns they had a roll reversal.\\n',\n",
       " \"You don't gain wait by the minutes at the dinner table - but the seconds.\\n\",\n",
       " 'An author who wrote from his basement had a best cellar.\\n',\n",
       " 'Having children is a heir raising experience.\\n',\n",
       " 'Cowboys have consider-a-bull talent.\\n',\n",
       " 'If the Japanese army took over the government it would be a high coup.\\n',\n",
       " \"Farmers have 'my grain' headaches.\\n\",\n",
       " 'A cow that is pampered too much will give spoiled milk.\\n',\n",
       " 'Those who make sinks often feel washed out.\\n',\n",
       " 'Some twins cause pair annoy-ya.\\n',\n",
       " 'After he bought a mirror he became very reflective.\\n',\n",
       " \"If a restaurant isn't sweet to its chefs they might dessert.\\n\",\n",
       " 'Work in a warehouse is always shift work.\\n',\n",
       " \"If you give some managers an inch they think they're a ruler.\\n\",\n",
       " 'When a ladder was stolen from a store the manager said that further steps would be taken.\\n',\n",
       " 'A farmer with a rip in his clothes has an overall problem.\\n',\n",
       " 'Those who do not want to be counted have taken leave of their census.\\n',\n",
       " 'A clean thief always makes a stainless steal.\\n',\n",
       " 'What you seize is what you get.\\n',\n",
       " \"Good gardeners take care of their plants - weed 'em and reap.\\n\",\n",
       " 'The pharaohs of Egypt worked out the first pyramid scheme.\\n',\n",
       " 'Chefs have the skillet takes to be good at what they do.\\n',\n",
       " \"Companies that don't ship enough coal will be undermined.\\n\",\n",
       " \"Sea captains don't like crew cuts.\\n\",\n",
       " 'I have to give a speech on being a vegetarian and omnivorous about it.\\n',\n",
       " 'A heart surgeon who also conducts music is a pace maker.\\n',\n",
       " 'When a guillotine executioner is layed off he gets severance.\\n',\n",
       " 'When he stepped out into the dusk with his three brothers he had a sudden four-shadowing.\\n',\n",
       " 'When Mongolians walk they like to take big steppes.\\n',\n",
       " 'A good carpenter will do his work and then varnish without a trace.\\n',\n",
       " 'Some women stay single and others are the Marion kind.\\n',\n",
       " 'Some power saws are a cut above the rest.\\n',\n",
       " \"My mother's sister is the antonym of my uncle.\\n\",\n",
       " 'Demeanor employees are moved to another deportment.\\n',\n",
       " 'If you get sick at the airport it could be a terminal illness.\\n',\n",
       " 'Two banks with different rates have a conflict of interest.\\n',\n",
       " 'The discovery of how to make steel was ironic.\\n',\n",
       " \"When the human cannonball retired they couldn't find a replacement of the right caliber.\\n\",\n",
       " 'Sometimes a pregnancy is so long it seems like a maternity.\\n',\n",
       " 'A successful diet is the triumph of mind over platter.\\n',\n",
       " 'A gossip is someone with a great sense of rumor.\\n',\n",
       " 'Eating too many snacks when studying for a test is called cramming.\\n',\n",
       " 'Weaving cars mean Looming accidents.\\n',\n",
       " 'Fashion is something that goes in one era and out the other.\\n',\n",
       " 'His decision to become a pilot was up in the air.\\n',\n",
       " \"People get organ transplants because someone's heart has gone out to them.\\n\",\n",
       " 'Those who drink too much at night have to worry about the mourning after.\\n',\n",
       " 'In some countries there is a lot of Manuel labor.\\n',\n",
       " 'Some foolish people gain by experience many perils of wisdom.\\n',\n",
       " 'Drivers in a rush who stop at traffic lights often see red.\\n',\n",
       " 'Army dentists make a good drill corps.\\n',\n",
       " 'Late night truckers burn the midnight oil.\\n',\n",
       " 'Those who polish cars so that they shine work in a buffer zone.\\n',\n",
       " \"When cooks are in the soup they don't like to eat humble pie.\\n\",\n",
       " 'Drinking too much coffee can cause a latte problems.\\n',\n",
       " 'A church welcomed all denominations but preferred tens and twenties.\\n',\n",
       " 'Old burglars never die they just steal away.\\n',\n",
       " \"When artists dream in color it's a pigment of their imagination.\\n\",\n",
       " 'When the iron was invented there was a press conference.\\n',\n",
       " 'Birds are grouchy in the morning because their bills are over dew.\\n',\n",
       " \"For insomnia move to the edge of the bed and you'll soon drop off.\\n\",\n",
       " 'He stayed at the auction to the bidder end.\\n',\n",
       " 'A cross between a puppy and a bunny is a rabid dog.\\n',\n",
       " 'Poor blood circulation runs through the family.\\n',\n",
       " 'Tires are fixed for a flat rate.\\n',\n",
       " 'A reporter was at an ice cream store getting the scoop.\\n',\n",
       " 'The novel about a musician in treble was a real clef-hanger.\\n',\n",
       " 'A marathon on a scorching day ended in a dead heat.\\n',\n",
       " 'Some hospitals have to cut coroners.\\n',\n",
       " 'Yachts that your brothers own are relation ships.\\n',\n",
       " 'Dance studios have waltz to waltz carpeting.\\n',\n",
       " '200 years from the final buffalo hunt will be a bisontennial.\\n',\n",
       " 'Baseball players sometimes have sign-us trouble.\\n',\n",
       " 'Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine.\\n',\n",
       " 'A pet store had a bird contest with no perches necessary.\\n',\n",
       " \"If you run through a screen door you'll strain yourself.\\n\",\n",
       " \"Sign: 'Please turn out the lights. Thanks a watt.'\\n\",\n",
       " \"Writer's cramp is also known as Authoritis.\\n\",\n",
       " 'Straw hats are no longer in their hay day.\\n',\n",
       " \"In medical matters it's nurses who call the shots.\\n\",\n",
       " 'When old story tellers die they are mythed.\\n',\n",
       " 'Two wrongs can make a riot.\\n',\n",
       " \"Are you willing Tibet I've never seen a yak?\\n\",\n",
       " 'Some bankers are generous to a vault.\\n',\n",
       " 'Authors in jail have their prose and cons.\\n',\n",
       " 'Sports are refereed by people of many stripes.\\n',\n",
       " \"When tires are up it's due to inflation.\\n\",\n",
       " 'With a gun in the kitchen you can take a potshot.\\n',\n",
       " 'There are a lot of bakeries on the yeast coast.\\n',\n",
       " 'A dairy farmer had a heifer dozen calves.\\n',\n",
       " 'After he carried a gun in his car the engine was soon shot.\\n',\n",
       " 'Luggage made of snakeskin is ex-hiss baggage.\\n',\n",
       " 'If you golf on election day -- cast an absent-tee ballot.\\n',\n",
       " 'Those who find bargain antiques like to junk for joy.\\n',\n",
       " 'A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.\\n',\n",
       " 'Vampires are always looking for their necks victim.\\n',\n",
       " 'The jogger who overslept found himself running late.\\n',\n",
       " 'A waist is a terrible thing to mind.\\n',\n",
       " 'Old programmers never die .. they just lose their memory.\\n',\n",
       " 'If a lawyer speaks for too long there will be an extended sentence.\\n',\n",
       " 'To become a pilot requires a good altitude.\\n',\n",
       " 'Lightning storms can be very striking.\\n',\n",
       " 'An insulting telegram is a barbed wire.\\n',\n",
       " \"When the fog burns off it won't be mist.\\n\",\n",
       " 'Stove makers often feel burned out.\\n',\n",
       " 'One witch spoke to another when she cauldron the phone.\\n',\n",
       " 'Politicians double cross bridges when they come to them.\\n',\n",
       " 'Lady newscasters do their hair in a short wave.\\n',\n",
       " 'When fleas disappear they mite be back in a tick.\\n',\n",
       " 'Tailors needle little something to catch the thread of a conversation.\\n',\n",
       " 'Musicians in bed use sheet music.\\n',\n",
       " 'When his clothes dryer broke he was lint another one.\\n',\n",
       " 'When it was lumpy he had a beef with his gravy.\\n',\n",
       " 'The one who invented the door knocker got a No-bell prize.\\n',\n",
       " 'To some - marriage is a word ... to others - a sentence.\\n',\n",
       " 'A baker stopped making donuts after he got tired of the hole thing.\\n',\n",
       " \"Once you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.\\n\",\n",
       " 'Those who steal trains must have a loco-motive.\\n',\n",
       " \"If you Russia round and Ukraine your neck don't Crimea river.\\n\",\n",
       " 'Chronic illegal parkers suffer from parking zones disease.\\n',\n",
       " 'When the skeleton went to a party he had no body to dance with.\\n',\n",
       " 'The cheap eye surgeon was always cutting corneas.\\n',\n",
       " 'Why do people eat pretzels since they are knot food?\\n',\n",
       " 'Did you hear about the tire dealer that had a blowout sale?\\n',\n",
       " 'The wig maker worked hard to get a-head in his business.\\n',\n",
       " \"An aquatic animal escaped from the zoo. It's name was Lucille.\\n\",\n",
       " 'Inside a hot dog factory you never sausage a sight before.\\n',\n",
       " 'Those that sing for charity have a band aid solution.\\n',\n",
       " 'Marine biologists like to see a friend or sea anemone.\\n',\n",
       " 'A family joker is jest having fun with his elations.\\n',\n",
       " 'With loggers -- using a chain saw is axio-matic.\\n',\n",
       " 'Models for commercials have advert eyes.\\n',\n",
       " 'When some people open their mouth they put their feat in.\\n',\n",
       " \"A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two-tired.\\n\",\n",
       " ...]"
      ]
     },
     "execution_count": 198,
     "metadata": {},
     "output_type": "execute_result"
    }
   ],
   "source": [
    "good_puns"
   ]
  },
  {
   "cell_type": "code",
   "execution_count": 213,
   "metadata": {
    "collapsed": true
   },
   "outputs": [],
   "source": [
    "test_set = [\n",
    "    \"A cardboard belt would be a waist of paper.\",\n",
    "    \"Doctors are never perfect because they are always practicing and they need a lot of patients.\",\n",
    "    \"If you ride a bus you have to pay your fare share.\",\n",
    "    \"A dentist with a toothache could have a bad impact on his patients.\",\n",
    "    \"When those around King Arthur's table had insomnia, there were a lot of sleepless knights.\"\n",
    "]"
   ]
  },
  {
   "cell_type": "code",
   "execution_count": null,
   "metadata": {
    "collapsed": true
   },
   "outputs": [],
   "source": []
  }
 ],
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