BUSY STREET MARKET: MUFFLED CROWD SOUNDS AND PASSING HORSES. THE SOUND OF APPROACHING CLACKING SHOES ON THE COBBLESTONES EMERGES
ASH: What do you want?
LADY 1: Oh I want what any woman wants: power.
ASH: And what, pray tell, does that have to do with me?
LADY 1: Well, you, my wonderfully wistful wench, are my ticket to owning the most profitable brothel in town!
ASH: Ah... Is this that business with the new Queen?
LADY 1: Who got to you first? I'll pay double!
ASH: I was offered land, servants, and a title, just for being on call for appointments with the Queen and no other patrons.
LADY 1: That's NONSENSE! No brothel in town can grant land and titles.
ASH: Oh I wasn't approached by a brothel, I was approached by the Queen herself. It seems she prefers not to trust brothels, too much chatter. And given that she prefers blondes, and I'm the only blond in these parts, she hired me herself.
LADY 1: The Queen...raising a slave to a land owner and her personal wench... There goes that chance at Royal coin…
ASH: Oh I think you made your fair share of Royal coin off the late King (rest his soul if he had one.)
LADY 1: And I shall make more Royal coin when you prove to be too boring for one such as the Queen. The girls I have from her region are the most skilled of any, so doubtless she is accustomed to more than what you have to offer.
ASH: What if I prove more skilled? What if I take even the lords and ladies from your beds, for everyone knows the lords and ladies prefer your beds to their own homely abodes.
LADY 1: Hah! Shows what you know about the preferences of the rich. They get rather picky about having their type, so unless you can change your skin, shape, and hair at will, I doubt most of my patrons would even look at you.
ASH: It isn't me they need to look at. I was just musing about opening my own brothel. I'll have the land after all, and the land has a hot spring…
LADY 1: You don't know the first thing about running a brothel. Don't get all high and mighty for being a glorified whore. You're the Queen's pet and nothing more!
FADE OUT THE STREET NOISE TO THE SILENCE OF THE QUEEN’S BEDROOM.
QUEEN: Hello Ash! Did everything go as planned?
ASH: Yes, Your Grace.
QUEEN: She took the bait and gave you reason to start a brothel of your own?
ASH: Yes, though I confess I'm not quite sure why that conflict had to happen in a crowd. Why couldn't we start a brothel without all that noise?
QUEEN: (PAUSE) In time, you will learn to scheme like the highborn court of snakes we must navigate. You now have witnesses to your personal reasoning to starting a brothel, leaving me out of it. People are always interested in the new shiny things that appear around them, so people will be on the lookout now that you have announced your up-and-coming establishment--...what was that smirk about?
ASH: My apologies, Your Grace...it's just...Might I name the brothel--uh--'Up & Cumming'?
QUEEN: Ooo that is rather catchy, and people do love a good chuckle. Quite versatile. Keep that name in mind and we can discuss it later... Right, so now the stage is set and no one will suspect that I put you up to it. People tend to be skeptical of Queens who wish to open whore houses.
ASH: If I may ask, why do you want to open a brothel?
QUEEN: That does not concern you at the moment... Just consider it a playful hobby of Mine.
ASH’S FOOTSTEPS LEAVING. THE DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES.
QUEEN: (CLOSE) 'A playful hobby' indeed...As if searching for the child stolen from my womb is a bloody hobby. I never even got to learn the sex of the poor thing. All I get are letters from time to time from God-knows-who, stringing me along on some dream of retrieving my baby...
BROTHEL: BACKGROUND HARP, SOFT MURMURS OF CLIENTS IN FAR ROOMS.
LADY 1: Why do you suppose that new queen prefers blondes?
WENCH 1: Why does Fat Tom prefer curly hair? Why does Lord Pig Nose prefer big men? Why does Lady Sweet Tooth prefer strong, rough women? People have preferences, and when they have money they can buy whoever they want…
LADY 1: Sure, but it's like she's obsessed: her serving girls are blond, her hired minstrel is blond, even her stable boy is blond. This goes beyond a simple preference.
WENCH 1: Mayhaps she feels more at home with people who look like her? She is far from her home and family.
END
This radio drama plot has grown beyond the scope of this project. It is more like the beginning of a large fantasy novel or trilogy. So, I have decided to summarize the plot I have developed so far: The Queen is from a land south of the current setting. Blond hair is common in her land, but not this one. In her former home, she was secretly raised as the royal assassin, and she had a few missions involving working in a brothel frequented by the Lords and Ladies of the court as a way to spy on the nobles via their pillow talk. On one such mission, she happened to get pregnant, and instead of drinking whatever concoction her mentor had prepared for just such an occasion, she decided she wanted to keep the baby. A pregnant assassin isn’t the most stealthy, and a mother can’t be expected to put the royal needs above her child, so there were quarrels, and her mentor tricked her into complacency by allowing her to follow through with the pregnancy. When the time came for the child to be born, the not-yet-queen was drugged, and the child was stolen from her. She was promised the child would have a decent life, and she would receive occasional updates if possible. She was not allowed to keep the child because her only worth to the throne (after having been discontinued as an assassin) was to be married off to the highest bidder, and no one would want a second-born princess with a bastard at her breast. Now the Queen is in a very different kingdom and chasing hints from past updates of her child. She assumes the child is blonde, but that is all she has to go on. She has to do a lot of investigating to not only find her offspring, but to verify their identity without being caught by those who have put so much effort into hiding her bastard. Eventually, she finds out that her child was taken to replace her as the royal assassin, and, due to her incessant meddling, she is one of their targets.